alt.fan.pratchett : The Best Of AFP

Good Morning School


Date: 25 May 2001
From: Aquarion

Good Morning School. Today's assembly is on communicating in modern society.

I'm not here for an enjoyable life

Oh dear.

[0]

What is the meaning of life, boys and girls? Do we think it's antagonizing others? Hands up if you do...

...ah, Year 11. Okay, Well done for being unashamed of your views, but i'm afraid you are wrong. The meaning of life is... Yes, Nick? No, I'm afraid 42 isn't the answer this time. The answer is that nobody really knows, but actually attempting to enjoy your life should be part of it.

No, Year 11. I'm sure you will disagree with me...

...yes, you can put your hands down now...

if it means having to do as some whining pissant tells me to do [and yes, it is dictating, demanding and censoring].

...but the idea of methods of behavior was not thought up as an idea just to spite you. These ideals for how a society should function have been placed so that everyone...MISS MEYER! This is an assembly, NOT a hairdressing shop...everyone is able to have an environment where they can be content. Although it may seem like they are around just to lessen the quality of your life...

Do you seriously expect me to roll over and cwy because I ruffled the all too settled feathers of the local dweebs? Puhlease.

...you will find that they are there to let people carry on theirs.

I'm not the one with panties a-wad over top or bottom posting

The idea of discussion is a good one, going back to the ages of enlightenment. But there were, even then, suggestions for behavior imposed to enable everyone to understand the argument and get his or her opinion in. YES, Mr CHAPMAN, This does include you, now stop talking to Mr Willis and pay attention.

The important thing to remember about communication is that the point of it is, in fact, the transmission of ideas across a medium. We can use a simple example for this, and the difficulties we are presented with.

Imagine a river, which in this case will symbolize the physical difference between two holders of opinion. Over this river is a bridge which we shall refer to as the Not Natural Triptrap Place. And this bridge suffers from a difficulty in getting items across...

And I love to see how long people can fixate on irrelevant subjects

...because of the disruption of information across it by an unwanted entity...

[troll, remember].

And the important thing to remember about these entities is that in the new world, where information replaces brute strength, we can either ignore the entity completely, or attempt to convince him to join a side and make his own communication.

Calling on the elder brother is now unnecessary. But remember, Not all Entities will allow themselves to join a side, so occasionally you may be forced to take the "ignore" road. Be warned, some may see the attempt at convincing to be a win on the part of the entity...

So far, it's been working marvelously.

...and convince them to continue. But the state at which you should realize the ignore road is best...

If I state an unpoular opinion in an unpopular fashion, and it sets off a whinefest, I'm not only not sorry, I'm glad I shook things up, because they were clearly

...is when they start invoking aging rock bands...

far too status quo........

...So remember, children. The important thing to remember about modern communication is that you can ignore that which is blocking the signal.

Please remember your PE Kit for tomorrow's games session on the field. And now, Mr Finkel has an announcement about next week's concert...

Yours in total sincerity,

Aquarion

[0] Note for Americans and other aliens: Year 11 is the precise definition of Teenager. Ithankyou.


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