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Cambridge 5.0: Report

From: (Emmet O'Brien)
Subject: *F* Cam 5.0 meet report
Message-ID: <>
Date: Sun, 18 Feb 1996 15:33:09 GMT

  I was more distracted than usual at this meet, so any additions gratefully 

  First to arrive, except for your humble narrator who had come straight from
 work and was therefore ridiculously early, was Toby Haynes. Shortly thereafter
 we were joined by the Damerell and LNR Blair, and subsequently, by Andrew
 Mobbs, Dr^Huncan McGregor, Owen Dunn, Paul Rood and Karen K, Robin, a number
 of thespians the only name among whom I can remember is Jo Cox, Lou and John,
 and, just after last orders as is becoming his wont, the Bryan. I'm sure I've 
 left someone out, prithee take not offense. Richard Kettlewell is excluded
 because of the haircut, which justifies quisitioning IMO.

  The ever-charming Karen formalised my adoption, and surprised me with a
 box of chocolates. I remain utterly bemused by those on the committee who
 can find it in their hearts to make jests about this most exquisite young
 lady, whom I have always found a paragon of all things admirable. Alas, the 
 most quotable quote of the evening was one of hers, on which I am sworn to 
 silence. It was stated that she has been known to cry my name in committee
 meetings, a statement of which in the interests of preserving some sort of 
 tenuous grasp on reality I would rather like to have further confirmation.
 I may at that point have been suffering from aural hallucinations. I
 haven't hallucinated for a year and a half now, but one never knows.

  Mistress Blair made it quite clear, several times, with increasing volume,
 that on this of all evenings she intended to behave herself. Only four male
 attendees were privileged to have her sit on their lap and be loud in close
 proximity to their ears, and only yhn was permitted to share a pint of really
 quite good Guinness as the evening wore on. Truly awful jokes were exchanged,
 including the rat joke, the polar bear joke, the striped snakes joke, and
 several on the topic of goths and/or compscis. Other topics of conversation
 included Donaldson's Gap books, Nethack, some technical stuff at the other
 end of the table, flirtation in general, people calling me a tart, whether 
 it was possible to make someone sitting on one seasick by tapping one's
 foot in time with the background music, and, reliably, children's television
 programmes of our youth. Photographs from Cambridge 3.0, Ealing 3.0 and the
 most recent London signing were passed around and giggled at, and the passing 
 resemblance between the Damerell and Glenn Close was mercilessly pointed out.
 Yhn quite possibly owes his survival to the continued failure of Kat to turn 
 up at a suitable time to see some of the pictures of her. For those who are
 interested, the few pictures taken at this meet marked the conclusion of a
 roll of film, the first pictures on which date from the afp Xmas party's 
 London night, and these should be recovered by next weekend.

  Anyway, time passed, once again, I found myself not talking to as many 
 people as I would have wished for as long as I would, and we departed leaving
 only an Elder Sign tour ad, [ lacking in dates, venues, or for that matter any
 information of a useful nature ] on a graffiti board behind us. The group 
 gradually fissioned en route across Cambridge, with various individuals 
 taking the safe piloting of Mss. Blair to her chosen crash space in relays,
 and presumably safe returns home for all concerned.

 Orgies are no fun on your own.                         

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