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Karen K's Birthday Meet: Report

From: (Alex the Eternally Harassed)
Subject: *F* Karen K's Birthday Meet Report (Alpha1)
Date: Sun, 18 Aug 1996 08:09:14 GMT
Message-ID: <>

The Prologue

Arrangements were made that the attendees would meet Karen and Paul
outside the Odeon, Leicester Square at 1:30.  Everyone was on time, with
the exception of KAren, Paul and A.N.Other[1] and the tickets for
Independence Day.

The Cast

Karen Kroisdyugfjksdghsdf          as  The Vodka Vixen
Karen Ksdfhmgklsdfjhjkdg's Friend  as  A.N.Other
Paul 'A' Rood                      as  A tub of custard
Alien                              as  Himself
Mrs Alien (+ attached podling)     as  Themselves
Rob Collier                        as  A non-cabal non-member
Adrian Wragg                       as  Macauley Culkin's stand-in
Alex                               as  Harassed as he normally is
Kat                                as  The feline of the species
Colette Reap                       as  The net.Goddess
Alan Bellingham                    as  The Bellinghman
Susan Cooper                       as  Simon Callan
Darrell                            as  Our token Fluffy one
Emmet O'Brien                      as  The Emmet
Emmet's Krisma                     as  Itself
Ivis                               as  The Token Merkin
Someone else                       as  Someone whose name we forgot.

plus a strong supporting cast, and One Thousand Elephants!

Meet report production by Alex TEH, Adrian and Rob.
Casting by Sheer Chance.
Executive Director, Alex TEH.

Scene 1 - The Cinema

[Outside the Odeon, Leicester Square]

1:30 pm, various people assemble outside said cinema, to meet up and see
Independence Day. All but two are present - those that hold the key to
the film, the TICKETS!

[Much later that same day]

1:50 pm, and finally the Tickets have arrived, closely followed by Paul,
Karen Khekasfgjs, plus Friend.  Despite attempts at consolation, our own
Alien was devastated by the film, which showed, in graphic detail, the
destruction of his own clan - the cries of "Daddy" from him at one point
brought the whole theatre to tears...

Following the destruction of most of the civilised world, plus the White
House, it was food time....

Scene 2 - New World

A minor reprise of DWCON occurred when 16 AFPers descended on an
unsuspecting Chinese eatery[2] and food with an oriental bent was
consumed - with much moaning by Kat about how she had to get to
Tottenham Court Road to buy some stupidly expensive piece of graphics
technology for her PC and how she wanted some beer (Hands up all those
who are surprised by the latter of these statements?)

Scene 3 - Central London

[Later that same day]

The meal over, we decide to make our way to a nearby pub that someone
claims to know.

Scene 4 - Another bit of Central London

[Cast walks across scene]

Scene 5 - Yet Another bit of Central London

[Cast admires City of London from Embankment, whilst wondering where the
pub actually is.]

Scene 6 - The bit of central London as seen in Scene 4

Finally, the pub. Of course, we hold no-one at all responsible for this
slightly disastrous piece of navigation...[3]

A pub. We drank. We talked. Nappies of at least one attendee were
changed on a pub seat, much to the minor horror of nearby bar staff.

Eventually, as time drew on, we moved onwards, this time to the

Scene 7 - The Trocadero, Piccadilly Circus

...minus Kat. Who we wouldn't gossip about. Oh, no. Never. Because
there's nothing to gossip about. Right, Kat?

<insert effects of certain young-looking AFP lurker looking for 
 somewhere to hide out for a few years>

Whilst the majority of people stayed in the Virtual Worlds bar, *gasp*
drinking[4], a few of us more adventurous types headed out and to the
arcades. We'd change to scene 7a, but I'm with Rex Mundi when it comes
to running jokes.

Um, wrong newsgroup, sorry.

The All-AFP Air Hockey Championships resulted in the following:

1.  Alex TEH
2.  Darrell
3.  Adrian
4.  Rob
5   Paul "Brewery Piss-Up Organiser" Rood

Whereby, as revenge, Paul thrashed [each to their own, I guess] Alex at
Alien3 - The Gun.  Karen, Paul, Alex and Karen's friend had a quick go
on the dodgems, attempting to take out the junior inhabitants of a
number of small Arab nations[5].

Scene 7a - Yet Another Pub

We moved on, as closing time fast approached, to - as the Scene title
suggests - Yet Another Pub, this one found with slightly more haste than
the last, and Karen Kgdhksdfh finally had the chance to enforce her
reputation of being the Vodka Vixen.

Eventually, with cries of When Shall We 9-ish Meet Again?, we all went
our separate ways...

The Epilogue (or, maybe, Epitaph?)

Rob and Adrian proceeded to invade Alex's flat, take his computer, beat
him at Scorched Earth by a stupidly large amount several times [well,
Adrian did - Rob merely beat him by a sane amount], and then post meet
reports in Alex's name, without even having the decency to sleep at all
between leaving the meet and posting this the following morning.

Anyone wishing to exhume or otherwise brutalise, terrorise, or Harass
any of those involved in the production of this meet report, please form
an orderly queue.

Oh, and we lied about the elephants.  We hired a hedgehog, but he
couldn't be buggered to turn up.

[1] Sorry Karen, none of us can't remember your friends name.
[2] Credit due to Adrian for knowing somewhere that *could* seat 16 
    people at short (i.e. zero) notice.
[3] Of course Paul is entirely blameless in this. The words "Brewery"

    and "Piss-Up" never sprang to mind.
[4] Unfortunately not a drop of vodka to be seen, or indeed drunk.
[5] NOTE:  NEVER DRIVE WITH PAUL (Road Rage?  What road rage?)!!!!![6]
[6] Yes, that bad.

Alex TEH, Adrian, Rob.

Coming soon to a newsgroup near you...

    ... HIDE! as Kat shows the world what the claws can do ...
    ... GASP! as Paul manages to organise a brewery piss-up ...
    ... CHEER! as Karen shows what a scorned Kruzycka can do ...
    ... CRY! as the bunny finally gets it ...

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