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Cambridge 5.0: Report

From: (Peter Ellis)
Subject: Meet Report for AFPCam 5.0 (now renamed AFP Silly-Chocolate-Things 1.1 beta)
Date: Sun, 15 Mar 1998 15:11:38 GMT
Message-ID: <>

Your humble narrator turned up at the meet a good 20 minutes before the
appointed time, bearing copious quantities of Maya Gold -- only to be
greeted by the ever-fanatical Holyoake gestalt, along with a certain
Darren and a Maurice Bloch, who were even *earlier*.  This necessarily
meant that the chocolate was the source of much Temptation for the next
several minutes; however its siren song was resisted until the very
stroke of seven, when the feasting did commence.

Oxonians arrived, bearing an APF sign.

More and more chocolate began to arrive as various other afpers brought
their imaginations along (Carol, you are a very, very, very twisted
person -- WYMM?)  

Many cuddly toys occurred as well -- special marks to the Damerell for
discovering the One True Use for a Spice Girl doll.  Studded leather
collars and chains were in evidence among the more... adventurous of the

The holy ppint. turned up and obeisance was made, notwithstanding the
fact the said ppint. does not believe in ppint.

Loriba's T-shirt was signed, and Rob proved his ergonomicality by using
*all* the different coloured pens in one simple signature.

Several afpbetrothals occurred, and yhn discovered (to his shock) that
he was Suzi's son, brother, father and afpfiancee simultaneously.

It was proved that Gid is *not* the fastest drinker on afp...

*VOM* cards existed, and became necessary at a few points in the
proceedings -- inexplicably involving LNR a goodly proportion of the

Following large amounts of talking, brunellobibendation, cider, Guinness
and other tipples, as well as copious chocolate, a fair proportion of
the meet headed currywards (a potentially nasty situation being defused
with particular ppint.ian tact -- many thanks!), following which we
wended our weary wandering ways to our respective homes, happy in the
knowledge that Cam. had been well and truly AFPed, and that the God of
Chocolate was placated.


Those Present:

Peter Ellis, Dictator in Chief (Muahahahaha!)
Maurice Bloch
Lottie "Loriba" Barber
Selina Lock (+Claire, +Bryan, +Barry, +Alan)
Owen Evans
Tom Pearson
Rob (the Ergonomist)
The Damerell
The Wednesday
Alex (Young?)
Matt Bloch
Andrew Mobbs
Ben Chalmers

... and the holy (wholly?) ppint.


The Litany of CC-Things

CCCB (Dark, milk and white choc. versions)
Grapes(x3, one version onna stick)
Crunchy dried banana
Fresh banana
Cape gooseberries
Marshmallows onna stick
Pistachio nuts

... and the weird stuff ...

Sprouts (x2)
Mushrooms (x2)
Sausagemeat (surprisingly tasty...)
Cheese (Stilton?)
Hot Chillies (Carol, you are evil -- *please* marry me)

... and the piece de resistance ...

A copy of MORT, covered in clingfilm and cc-ed.

Prizes are awarded to Carol (for overall unsurpassability and
perfectitude) and Loriba (for the first ever cc Brassica)

I award the following tokens, redeemable for a *vom*, a *snog*, or a
*pint* (No, not a ppint.) at the Con or the next AFPCam...cut out and

|                                      |
| AFP Silly-Chocolate-Things 1.1 beta  |
|                                      |
|           PRIZE TOKEN                |
|                                      |
| (not to be used for leopard-baiting) |


Quotes: (rjk has a list, as has Loriba -- everyone please add to these)

The Out Of Context:

LNR:  "I'm sure I can fit *him* in here..."
LNR:  "I think I can fit afp in there..."
LNR:  "Now *that's* worth a whole bar of chocolate"

PETER:  "I've only ever scored once in my life, and that was from the
wrong end"

... and the Downright Bizarre:

PETER:  "Oi!  Everyone!  This is a recognisable duck!"

Hmmmmmm.  It seems I can only remember quotes from myself and LNR...
come on, *someone* else must have said unwise things last night...


Anyway, that appears to be all for now, so this is your humble narrator
signing off...


P.S.  I'm off home tomorrow and will be losing afpcess -- if anyone adds
to this meet report, could they please cc: it to me at, otherwise I'll never find out what *else*
happened last night...

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