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Cambridge: Report

From: (Barry R)
Subject: [F] Cambridge meet report
Date: Sun, 21 Feb 1999 15:58:59 -0000
Message-ID: <>

OK, the official meet report for Cambridge goes like this...

Jennie Lees, Carly, C Cooke, Maurice Barnes, Leo (of course), Gid, 
Suzi, Big Jules, Melusine, Rand, Peter Ellis, Megamole, Tim Hunt, 
Helen Highwater, Jonathan Ellis, Ailbhe, Adrian, Lottie, LNR, 
Pthomas, RJK, Barry R.


First to arrive at the pub were Jennie, Carly, Charles Cooke, and 
YHN, who proceeded to commandeer the usual corner of the pub. Some 
people ordered drinks immediately, and whilst they were getting 
comfortable they were joined by Maurice, who also ordered a drink, 
as well as some food. (At this point some other people thought hard 
about doing the same, as the smell of the food was very tempting.)
Topics of discussion so far had ranged from "where do we sit?" to 
what do we drink?"

Leo arrived next, and was followed in quick succession by Gid, Suzi, 

Big Jules and Rand. Now topics stretched to include "Red Dwarf VIII" 

and how nice the Bananananana Toffee flavoured White chocolate was, 
to "CC, where did you get that 99% chocolate from?", "oo, flakes!", 
and "what shall we drink?"

Hugs were given and received, and chocolate was eaten (the bar of 
banoffee flavour disappeared particularly fast...), drinks appeared 
and discussion resumed. Red Dwarf VIII gained a bit of a foothold, 
and the group briefly made a critical examination of the first 
episode. The ensuing conclusion was that once again Red Dwarf was a 
program that should not be missed. 

Over the next 15 minutes more arrivals appeared, in the shape of 
Lottie, Peter Ellis, (he of the ready wit and superlative haiku's), 
Megamole, Peters brother Jonathan, Ailbhe, Adrian, and a #afp'er by 
the name of Melusine. 

More hugs were given and received, and more drinking happened. 
Handcuffs were produced once again, and the first victims found 
themselves wandering around, whilst being given strange looks by 
some of the pubs other customers.

Melusine found a comfortable seat on Peter's knee, and Ailbhe and 
Adrian again added to the World's *VOM* average. The 'cuffs were 
used to terrorize Leo, and he was actually tricked into running away 
from someone who didn't actually have the 'cuffs. Jonathan was then 
cuffed to a decorative rail, and the key was kept in a safe place by 

More arrivals appeared, including the famous Helen Highwater and Tim 
Hunt, as well as Richard Kettlewell. Topics soon turned to a 
rehearsal of the proposed CCDE flake eating contest, and the flake 
bars were distributed by YHN, who somehow managed to end up with a 
half a bar (I wonder how that happened). The other recipients were, 
Suzi, Big Jules, Lottie, Ailbhe, and Melusine. First to perform was 
Suzi, who gave a masterful performance, who was then followed by 
BigJules, whose performance was also superb. Lottie made a token 
effort, before just eating the flake and exclaiming "it's 
chocolate!". Ailbhe's eating of her flake was seen to make several 
men wince, and Melusine was distracted by someone else eating their 
flake. So all in all, Maurice's flake went down well...

More drinks appeared, Leo and Gid didn't geek welsh, and Leo was on 
the receiving end of some very hard questions like "what was the 
rugby score today?" <G>

As the evening gave way to night, some people made their way home, 
Helen and Tim needing to make the long drive to milton keynes, and 
Mel and YHN needed to return to London. As I had to leave, I now 
turn the reporting of subsequent events over to anyone who witnessed 
them. (I understand that some people went to a curry house, and that 
Leo has some more quotes to be added to the ones below)

And the first Ailbhe of the evening was made by Tim Hunt, at 
19:52... well done that man. *applause*

Quote File:

Pardon me, I just need to Scratch. - C Cooke

Ooh, very Tiny. - C Cooke 

You've got to show him yours. - Barry

I'm just scratching my shoulder, honest. - Gid

I feel like a very small ventriloquist with a very large dummy. - 
Peter with an OSB sitting on his knees.

He really enjoys the cherry being stuck in him. - Big Jules

They're like 4 little Ailbhes jumping up and down. - Megamole 
describing B*witched

If that doesn't come out, I'm going in. - Barry

They just don't get longer. - Gid

Too much desperation gets you nowhere. - Peter
How would you know? - Megamole
Experience! - Peter

It isn't hard now, but I have a feeling it'll get hard in a moment. 
- Lottie

It's normal for geeks, it's very important to remember it's not 
normal for the majority - Helen

They're not really sturdy enough for my purposes. - Melusine

It's tiny. - C Cooke (AFPGiant)
I'm very sorry to hear that. - Melusine

Because he gets it out more than once a month, unlike you. - Peter 
to Megamole

DIE!!!! - Ailbhe to Jonathan

Irish Pronunciation Geeking - Ailbhe and Melusine 
[well it makes a change from Welsh - ed]

Get it off - Peter to Suzi

Ah, if you're really good Suzi... - Megamole (unbuttoning shirt)
It's ok, he's wearing something under it. - Lottie

I don't have enough support. - Melusine
Do you need more from underneath? - Peter

Put it Away - Leo to Barry

With a tongue like that you're coming home with me - Melusine to 

It's longer than it was last time. - LNR to Gid

Oi! get your hand off my nipple. - Melusine to Ailbhe

That knee is beginning to suffer from terminal shake. - Melusine

You think he minds about smut??? - Barry

I don't think I have a bike at the moment. - Peter

He could feel it coming... -C Cooke

Why are you doing that when you can pull out and dive in? - Melusine

Well, that's all. 
It was a great meet, and very much enjoyed. I would like to 
congratulate Leo on the marvellous work of arranging this meet, 
which was a work of genius, considering it was done in absentia.

Well Done Leo

Barry R. B.F. The Official Sad Bastard

You phoned me up at 3am to ask for a takeaway... What's the address?
OK. One Order Of Ultra-Violence Coming Up!!!

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