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From: "Jenny Radcliffe" <jenny.radcliffe@physics.org> Newsgroups: alt.fan.pratchett Subject: [F] Meeting Mary Meet, A Report Date: Sun, 14 Oct 2001 15:55:08 +0100 Message-ID: <9qc993$lk6gr$1@ID-110686.news.dfncis.de> Disclaimer: At no point was I delegated to write this report, but, on the other hand, neither was anyone else, and the whole meet was my fault, so I'm writing it. Attendance List: Truly There: Jenny Radcliffe Andrew Gray Mark "Hippo" Datko Martyn "That Martyn Clapham" Clapham Edwin Brady Mary Messall Julie "Ingenious Paradox", Surname Unknown Robert, Husband of the Above Christopher, Small and Engaging Child of the two Above Chris Morris Telephonically: Mary Perkins Jennifer Gray, who is *not*, as I had assumed, the sister of Andrew Brief Appearances by: Richard Cordiner Emily "President of the Students' Union" Fieran-Reed, in confusion Large portions of the Durham University Assassins Society, and their water-pistols The good staff of the Riverside Cafe of the DUrham Students' Union, and their skill at producing the Food Groups of Caffiene and Lard Some Reporters from the Sunday Sun Toys: Two hippos, one with a large zip-up mouth, and one which barked A teddy of the most archetypal type A squeaking, walking Killer Bunny Of Death as from Monty Python's Holy grail, being called Tim A yawning Bagpuss A genuine S.U.S.e. Tux Lots and Lots of Sticklebricks and things kindly leant by Christopher, Son of the Ingenious Paradox 1. Chapter 1: Meeting Andrew 1.1. In the beginning, there was a Concrete Monstrosity, and it was called Dunelm House, and it was also called Dunelm, and it was filled with the Purpose of being the Students' Union of the University of Durham. 1.2. And there was me, and I walked into it. 1.3. And at the top of the stairs there was a student, and I knew it was a student, for I am wise in the ways of students and I recognise one when I see one. 1.4. And he did say "Jenny?" 1.5. And I was alarmed, for I did not recognise him, except in the sense that he was a student, but I was brave, and I did say "Yes?" 1.6. And he said that he was Andrew 1.7. And I saw that the Meet had begun 1.8. And I saw that it was good. 2. Chapter 2: Meeting Hippo and Martyn 2.1. We went down the stairs unto the café, and we did see some people who were not students. 2.2. And we did know they were not students, for I am wise in the ways of students, and I recognise non-students when I see them. 2.3. And I did recognise one of them, for he was Hippo. 2.4. And we did introduce our companions unto each other, and his companion was Martyn. 2.5. And there were many soft toys, and I saw that it was good. 3. Chapter 3: Riverside Café, and a Telephonic Guest 3.1. We went into the café, and we did find a table, and we did dispose our soft toys, and we did gossip. 3.2. And Mary Perkins did ring Martyn from Manchester to tell him that a miracle had occurred and electrons had been diffracted, and so she was added to the List of People who Had Been At The Meet. 3.3. And my ex-boyfriend did appear, and he did not bat an eyelid that I was sitting with some people and some soft toys, and I was impressed, for he is very conventional, notwithstanding black clothes, long hair and an earring. 3.4. And although he did not stay long, I add him to the List of People who Had Been At The Meet, for he did lend me many of the books of the Man In The Hat, and so he should be considered with respect. 3.5. And we did chatter. 3.6. And I saw that it was good. 4. Chapter 4: Meeting Mary and Edwin and Breakfast 4.1. And Mary and Edwin did arrive, and they did have more soft toys. 4.2. And Hippo did give Mary books about Yorkshire, and we did have a repeat of the Wars of the Roses, for Martyn is from Lancashire. 4.3. And Edwin and I said let there be lard. 4.4. And there was a lardy breakfast. 4.5. And the others saw that it was good, and did get food for themselves also. 4.6. And it was good. 5. Chapter 5: Kingsgate Bar, A Not-Even-Lurker-Yet, and a Telephonic Guest 5.1. We did migrate upstairs to the Bar, for in the café it was noisy, and we were waiting for the telephone call of the Ingenious Paradox, who is also called Julie. 5.2. And we were joined by Chris Morris, who is not even yet a Lurker, but who is a fan of the books of the Man In The Hat, and who is wise in many afp-ish ways and would not be an unworthy afper. 5.3. And Jennifer Gray did ring Andrew, who is not as I had thought her brother 5.4. And it was her birthday, so we did say happy birthday 5.5. And we do have high hopes that she will be able to visit the next Durham meet, and I assure her that I am thinking of good ways to convince her parents that we aren't mad, really. 5.6. And thus she was added to the List of People who Had Been At The Meet. 6. Chapter 6: Meeting Julie and Robert and Christopher 6.1. And Julie did ring. 6.2. And I did give her directions to our location, and I did do this by waving my arms in the air, and people did laugh at me, for Julie could not see me on the phone. 6.3. And I did go out to meet Julie, and I was accosted by Reporters from the Sunday Sun. 6.4. And they did interview me on the subject of testing drinks against spiking, and I did want to laugh at them, for I am a Boring Old Fart in the making and I do not frequent places where spiking does take place. 6.5. And while this was happening, the President of the Students Union did look at the Meet and the soft toys, and was perplexed. 6.6. And Martyn did fear we might be ejected, but Edwin did say we should have no fear, for he is a Shareholder in the Company, which runs the bar. 6.7. And we were joined by Julie, and with her, her Husband, Robert, and her small Child, Christopher. 6.8. And we did chatter further, but Christopher did object, and so we did leave the building. 6.9. And this was, very likely, good. 7. Chapter 7: The Great Outdoors 7.1. We did wander by the river and we did tell urban legends. 7.2. We did describe the mini suspended from the bridge, although this is no urban legend and did indeed happen, and we did talk on all manner of subjects. 7.3. We did sit in the cloisters of the Cathedral and we did listen to music, for there was a rehearsal of the Durham Sinfonia within, and it did sound good. 7.4. We did stand on Palace Green and talk yet further, and get in the way of drivers. 7.5. And Julie and Robert were most kind and did invite us to go to their house and eat pizza, and so we did. 7.6. And it was good. 8. Chapter 8: Pizza and Gossip and Toys at Julie and Robert and Christopher's 8.1. And we did trek, by means of the car belonging to Martyn and a bus belonging to Arriva, for there were many of us, to the house of Julie and Robert. 8.2. And we did build models out of sticklebricks, and we did read Thomas the Tank Engine books. 8.3. And Edwin did build a model in Sticklebricks of a New and Improved Version of the Concrete Monstrosity in which the Meet had Met, although anything is an improvement so this is not special 8.4. And Mary did build a bi-plane 8.5. And we did all peer nosily at the bookshelves, and saw that they were good. 8.6. And we did observe on the Shelf many CDs, of Bach and Elgar and Chopin, and in amongst them, we did see the Pink Floyd "Momentary Lapse of Reason", which seemed most apposite. 8.7. And we did talk, and eat pizza, and chocolate. 8.8. And Edwin and I did persuade Andrew to join the Computing Society, and I do believe that he will be the most unusual recruitment of the year, for he has joined the society sitting on the living room floor of someone he had never met before, recruited by more people who had met previously neither him nor the owners of the floor. 8.9. And it was good. 9. Chapter 9: Home time 9.1. And eventually we did all go home. At least, Edwin and Chris and I did walk home to Durham. 9.2. And this was our meet, and it did contain chocolate, soft toys and children's books, although it did contain no alcohol. 9.3. And it was, I think, good. Quotes, as recorded by the Not-Even-Lurker-Yet, Chris "Scattering his love on a pristine lampshade" - someone overheard in the Bar "Do we have any toy horses?" - Martyn Clapham "You mean apart from that one?" - Edwin Brady "Yes" - Martyn "I know all about the layers of clothes Chris wears" - Edwin "Infant builders. Does that mean we can build an infant?" - Edwin "There's nothing wrong with badgers. Badgers are lovely." - Andrew Gray "You look like you have some bizarre skin disease" - Andrew to Mary Photographs will be forthcoming when they have been: a) Developed b) Scanned c) Webified -- Jenny, Afpfont to Mary Messall
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