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Toronto: Report

From: (Jeff Lipton)
Subject: *F* Prose and [Toronto]Con (long)
Date: Wed, 06 Nov 1996 03:03:50 GMT
Message-ID: <55ovau$>

     In the White Room with Black Curtains
On Friday, November 1st, I boarded a train bound for Toronto to visit
our wunnerful Michelena.  I accedently took a seat in the Squaling
Baby section.  This child squaled every time the train whistle blew --
which is every few minutes... Blergh.  After a while, I moved out of
earshot -- and almost immediately, a woman with a baby in her arms sat
down a few seats away.  Fortunately, that baby slept through the
entire journey. 

     Don't Search My Bags If You Please, Mr Customs Man
At the border, Canadian customs agents came aboard to look for anyone
importing red salamanders^W^Wfruits or nuts (oh -- same thing) into
the Maple Leaf state (wait, they haven't announced that yet, have
they).  I must look like a smuggler, because they searched EveryThing!
My luggage, my cloth bag -- they looked at every card in my wallet!!!!
Finally, they gave in -- and I smuggled myself into The Great White

     I Ran Into Such a Sad Time At the Station
I made into to the Toronto station at 11:30pm -- and realized there
was a problem.  I had told Michelena (based on the info Amtrak had
given me) that I would arrive at 10:30.  Like the Merrie Foole that I
am, I had left her phone number at home.  Nuncle, twas a good thing
she was in the directory.  I "rode the Rocket" (a good description of
the Toronto subway), and Michelena took the streetcar, and we met at
the Coxwell station.  

   -- no more titles --
She spotted me, and together we made it back to the RiosaDome.  We
were ardently greeted by Amos, the Woofamatic.  Amos is _so_ cute (and
he doesn't mind being called cute).  Imagine a pooch built along the
lines of a whippet, but about the height of a dalmation.  Light brown
patches over each eye and a pointy nose complete the effect.

Michelena is _very_ pretty (don't let her convince you otherwise...)
and was wunnerful to be around (very smart and very funny).  We stayed
up for several hours just chatting about all sorts of things before
trundling off to sleep.

Next day, Michelena had a dental appointment (she _did_ warn me), so
we wandered a bit until she took the hot seat.  After the cleaning, we
celebrated her clean teeth with a round of hot wings and drinks (a
nice local beer for her, and a delicious Cider for me).  A question
arose -- do you folks in England (and elsewhere) have chicken wings in
the same manner that we in Merka and Canada do?  Information is

After a leasurely snack, we called Sarah the Lurker and arranged to
meet near her place.  After a short trip (the public transit in
Toronto is terrific), we arrived to be met by Sarah. (Hi Sarah!)  We
nattered about a bit before heading off to an Indian restaurant.
Michelena ordered for the three of us (averaging between my request
for a spice rating of 8/10 and Sarah's desire for 5/10), getting us a
delightful meal -- far more than we could eat.  Afterwards, we waddled
upstairs to a pub.  It was a trifle load and I was rather sleepy, so i
mostly watched while Michelena and Sarah chatted.  

They took pity on me and we wandered about downtown Toronto for a
while.  Among the highlights:  We spotted a collar at a lingerie shop,
which seemed rather pleasing to the ladies until I commented that it
rather resembled the type of collar used by vets to keep dogs from
biting at their sores (the funnel collar type wossname).  That sort of
broke the mood.  Later, at a record store, I tried to interest
Michelena and Sarah in the Butthole Surfer's latest album "Electric
Larryland"  (Michelena made some comment about "midlife crisis" --

We finished the evening by exchanging e-mail with a certain crimson
amphibian^Wreptile^WZaruga. Hi RSZ!

I had an early train on Sunday, so we rushed to the station where I
amazed Michelena by getting a Harvey's burger for the train ("You're
going to eat that cold?!", she declaimed).  We had time for a quick
hug, and I was on my way back home.  This trip was much more peaceful,
and after a quick glance at my e-mail (Hi Reb!), I was off to bed.

All in all, I had a terrific time.  I am planning to go up again somr
time in December (if Michelena will have me).  If you're anywhere near
Toronto or Lansing, Mi, please join us!



ASCII silly question, get a silly ANSI.  

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