Firstly, we need specialist volunteers for the following events. These people will be briefed on the specialist tasks before the event rather than scooped out of the Gopher hole at random. Please let us know if you are interested.

A volunteer form will be distributed in a future issue, but start thinking about it now.

Dwarf Opera

We also need talented people to perform street theatre of the type you would expect to find around the streets of Ank-Morpork, i.e.:

Mad Morris Dancers (performing the Stick and Bucket dance)

Please note: mime artists and members of the Thieves' Guild are definitely not wanted on voyage.

Update On Items in Last Issue:

Alchemy Demonstration Sadly, due to the situation involving fire alarms (which would be set off and which cannot be switched off) in what is a listed Category 1 building and would result in the evacuation of the building, along with impromptu visits by the Police, fire engines etc, we have regretfully had to cancel this item.

Workshops We are planning a special event for any children attending the event - a contest to paint or colour in a Qauntum Weather Butterfly. We provide the crayons and paint and a template of the butterfly, you do the rest. We then intend to display the finished items around the Convention (possibly on mobiles).

There will be a workshop on making masks for the Gala Dinner (which will be a masked event) so you can embellish standard 'Robin'-type masks.

We are also planning to run various workshops on writing, painting and, would you believe, 'cavorting' - more details in future issues.

Convention Piece We hope to produce a special piece for the Convention, which you can either buy as it is (a uniform colour) and be happy with that, or paint yourself in any colour you like to produce a unique item. We provide paints and brushes, so all you have to do is bring yourself and your Convention piece. (The price has not yet been settled, but is not expected to be high)

Unseen University Challenge At present we are planning to hold the Final on the last day of the Convention, with the winners facing a celebrity team - so start thinking about your team and its members. The more the merrier!

WEAPONS POLICY Please be aware that there is a strict 'no weapons' policy enforced at the Convention. The only time when weapons would be permitted is as part of a costume used in the Maskerade. This includes super-soakers (those who were at the Clarecraft event know what I mean), blunt-edged weapons, fake firearms, fake swords etc. The only knives allowed will be those that you use to eat (except for the Committee who are, of course, not allowed anything sharp).

LUGGAGE WARS - Bringing destruction to the Discworld since the Century of the Fruitbat. We all know that when you get on the wrong side of the Discworld's most renowned psychopathic travel accessory, your life expectancy is dramatically re-evaluated. In fact, if you do get away in one piece, various land speed records will have been beaten. But what happens if you get a clutch of Luggages in a confined space? Let's find out, shall we?

luggage Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to construct, in accordance with the competition rules, a robot Luggage capable of holding its own in the Luggage Wars Arena. The event is based on the American "robot wars". Your Luggage must be able to withstand the onslaught of its fellow competitors. It must disable or destroy the other Luggages in the Arena without mercy.

The winner will be the last Luggage moving at the end of the time allowed.

Strategies can vary - do you go for speed and manoeuvrability or armour and stability? Will other contestants be hampered by pieces smashed from your Luggage, or do you just want it to survive intact?

How can I give my Luggage the edge over the rest? How can I defeat the others? These and many other questions will need to be answered to gain victory in the Luggage War Arena. Many may enter - only one will leave.

Interested in pitting your inventor's wits against your fellow Conventioneers? Complete the form, send it back and start building.

Prizes will be offered for the overall victor and the best looking Luggage.


There are none - well, just a few for safety reasons.
No projectile weapons allowed.
Each Luggage must fit into a box 400mm x 400mm x 350mm without protruding sections. Items may be extended after measurement but must be fitted during the measurement phase.
Robots constructed with a remote control car base are permitted, but extra credit will be given to alternative power sources and designs.
The use of nuclear reactors in the construction of the Luggage is strictly prohibited.
Your Luggage should be controlled from a distance of at least 8 metres without physical interference.
No petrol engines are permitted.
No sharp edged or chemical weapons allowed.
No substances which might damage the floor shall be allowed to be deployed during combat.
The use of flammable substances is forbidden.
The winner shall be the last Luggage still mobile at the end of a specified period.
Any Luggage which topples over during combat will be eliminated.
A contestant will be deemed eliminated if a period of two minutes elapses without significant movement across the arena by their Luggage.
Contestants enter their robots at their own risk. The Convention cannot accept responsibility for damage to any Luggage.
The Convention reserves the right to refuse any entry on safety grounds.
The judge's decision is final.

If you have any queries, please contact the Convention address. Entry forms are printed in the paper issue, all attending members should have a copy. Photocopies are acceptable.

Maskerade Think about this some time in advance. Choose your music and bring a copy of it so that the tech crew can set it up in time, and notify us in advance if you can. Also, give some thought to your costume - can you actually move in it without assistance? We will have pin specialist Gophers on hand but it would help if we knew beforehand. How delicate is it? Will it impair your vision? Do you have a script for the Master of Ceremonies? Does your presentation involve more that just walking on, doing a twirl and walking off? We will do our best to give you the best presentation possible, but the key to success is planning as well as sartorial ability. Please note that the Maskerade is the only time when weapons will be allowed in the Convention.

egg Leonard of Quirm Great Egg Race This will be a team event. We will supply your team with certain useful (!) items, some tools, and a certain amount of time. What you have to do is build a stable machine capable of transporting Lord Philanthropic III of Quirm (Claire-Louise Ruffle's pet dragon) a set distance without setting off any alarms. Lord Phil weighs in at 600 grams, plus about 400 grams for the Alarm Device.

Kaffee Klatches Forms for attending a Klatch will be included in a future issue. Due to an anticipated high demand for these events, we expect that tickets may have to be drawn by lottery in advance of the Convention. We believe that this is the fairest method. Obviously, if you don't return the form your chances are considerably reduced!

The Tower of Art The Convention will be running an Art Gallery again. This will contain the Dwarf Bread Museum, professional and amateur art (so start thinking about those paintings, models and sculptures you always planned to do now, in time for the Convention), and the displays of items for the Charity Auctions. We will be running competitions for various types of art - details to follow soon.

We also hope to have an additional display that will be of great interest to most Convention members: however, this has not been confirmed yet, so we cannot give too many details away. (spot the tease!)

DiscOlympics At present, planned events include:

Dwarf Bread Throwing
Luggage Racing
Mummy Wrapping

More to follow....

Battle of the Bards Who can take the title of the Bard of the Dysk? A contest to find the most excruciatingly awful poet of the Century of the Fruitbat, at which all budding McGonegals are invited to do battle. The poetry must not be merely bad - it must be so awful as to become a classic of Dysk literature.

Charity Events We will again be running last year's favourite, the Slave Auction. Needless to say there will be limits to what you can do with your purchases!

There will be Charity Auctions at the event where some very special items will be sold to the highest bidder. Many of these items will be unique and will surely be fiercely contested. All monies raised will go to the charities which we are supporting.

It is also likely that certain Committee members will be 'persuaded' to do some (very) rash things both before and during the Convention to raise money... Watch this space.

More details of the programme will be forthcoming in future issues, when certain events are finalised. Some events will not be revealed until the Convention itself, but be assured that we will keep you informed and entertained during the event.

Again, and we cannot state this often enough, it is your participation which will make the vital difference.

Bob Potter

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Web pages designed by Derek Moody
December 1997