Don't forget to write in with your questions, comments and general musings on the Convention and all things Discworld. The author of our Star Letter gets a prize - this issue's lucky bunny, Andy Brown, wins a T-shirt.

Dear Paul,

   I'd just like to say what a good idea it is to have the kids colour in a picture of the Quantum Weather Butterfly. Seeing as the wings have a theoretically infinite area, it'll keep the little sods... er, darlings out of everybody's way for the whole Convention (at least).

Andy Brown

The Discworld Convention is a caring, sharing organisation. We believe in helping our adult members with children escape from their bonds for just a little while each year.

Andy is our T-Shirt winner

Dear Chronicle,

   Thank you for the excellent 2nd edition of the Chronicle - I look forward to the next. However, I was disappointed to read that the Alchemy demonstration had been cancelled due to fire regulations. But I suspect that the organising committee has something more explosive on the agenda which they are not telling us about.

It has come to my attention that the DWCon committee is withholding vital information regards certain "events" that will be scheduled for this convention. It is a fact that the Adelphi Hotel has a Health Club facility called "Spindles", which contains no less than a squash court. I have it on good authority that the squash court is in fact lined with lead. This does not sound very healthy to me, and leads me to offer the committee some thought-provoking questions:

1. What exactly will the young wizards be getting up to in the squash court during the conference?
2. Would some sort of protective hat be advisable for attendees?
3. Is the name "Spindles" a thinly disguised homage to none other than the late "Windle Poons"?
4. Is custard involved?
5. Where do you get coconuts? (Go to the edge of the Disc and shake the tree, I believe!)

I think the Convention members should hound the committee to reveal the truth behind this appalling cover-up, and if they deny all knowledge then we can be sure that they are lying.

Yours in conspiracy,

Steve Roberts Constable #675 Special Qualities Division Detectoring a speciality.

This chap's letter raises a very important point - it deserves a serious and well-thought-out answer. After much consideration we have decided that this letter is an attempt by the Alchemists to undermine the authority of the UU faculty, and as such will be dealt with in the strongest possible manner. Carrots at dawn!

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May 1998