The L-Space Web: Filks

Afp newbie man


From: Michael Gavin
Newsgroups: alt.fan.pratchett
Subject: [I] surely there can't be more filkery [1].....
Date: Wed, 14 Jun 2000 17:40:06 +0100

Hi there. Before I move onto the filk, I just want to say something. Due to the massive nature of this newsgroup and the hundreds of posts it recieves every day (and also a small nod to my discovery of #afp and #icq[2]) , I have decided to stop posting regularly to this newsgroup (not that there aren't going to be 10 newbies taking my place). Luckily [3] I have been bitten by the filking bug and am going to be posting these every so often, at the moment they're not going to win any awards but who knows what will happen in the future? (They'll probably get worse :o) )

Anyway, on with the filkery. It seems to be my curse that yet again I choose a slightly obscure song to base it upon - this time I draw inspiration yet again from Austin Powers[4] and the song "Secret Agent Man"

AFP Newbie Man

AFP's one for the man that likes some danger,
Reading strange new posts from complete strangers,
With every post he makes,
Another flame he takes,
Odds are he'll be kill-filed by tomorrow.
Afp - newbie man,
Afp - newbie man,
They've given you a keyboard,
And taken away your shame.
Beware of tempting posts that you find,
The post was written by an evil mind,
Be careful what you say,
Or you'll be made to pay,
Odds are you'll be kill-filed by tomorrow.
Afp - newbie man,
Afp - newbie man,
They've given you a PC,
And now you are to blame.
Afp - newbie man,
Afp - newbie man,
They've given you net access,
And it'll never be the same.
Waltzes in onto abp one day,
Then straight onto afpa the next day,
Oh no, you'll never see a tag,
It's too much of a drag,
Odds are he'll be kill-filed by tomorrow.
Afp - newbie man,
Afp - newbie man,
They gave you a news server,
Well isn't it a shame?
Afp - newbie man,
Afp - newbie man,
They've called up your net sever,
Now that they know your name.

Well there it is. I leave this filk with you, do what you will.

Michael Gavin

[1] Yes there is, and stop calling me Shirley [5] [6]
[2] The latter of which is now happily whittling away hours which could be spent revising for exams or sleeping [7]
[3] I'm not saying it's good luck
[4] I don't care what anyone says, I still think it's a work of genius
[5] Just to please all those Airplane! fans out there (hi Airplane! fans)
[6] Ooh a footnote in the subject, I think that's my first
[7] I know it's not good, but try telling me that [7a]
[7a] And because this is a Pterry newsgroup here's a 2*4th one to finish off the footnotes (there's a lot of them, I think I might have got a bit carried away)


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