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Afparty 101


From: Adrian Ogden
Newsgroups: alt.fan.pratchett
Subject: New years meet afparty101 - FILKED!!! Ahahaha!!!
Date: 8 Jan 2002 00:52:29 GMT

By now you've hopefully seen Dragon Prince's official report.

Presented herewith for your entertainment and edification, there now follow my own recollections of Gid & Suzi's New Year Meet, and I'm a very sick man and I need help...

'Twas Hogswatch at Suzi & Gid's place
They were holding their annual meet
To tempt us with offers of crashspace
And all of the snow we could eat

We'd ate all we could of the turkey and pud
On telly was nought but old hat
And dull obligations with duller relations,
Well, who could be having with that?

So a seasonal meet was a most welcome treat
And the afpers were glad to respond
From as near as the village just over the hill
To the back of beyond... and beyond.

"There's not enough house room this year
To sleep all the guests" Suzi said
But Gid just declared "never fear,
We'll fit all the rest in the shed".

On Wales the afpers descended in droves
In kitchen and lounge they were seated
T'was plain that the beer and the nibbles and loaves
Would be only too quickly depleted

The food was served up and we all found a seat
For a night of convivial chat
Marked only by pauses to drink or to eat
And to pet the occasional cat

We were all very pleased when assortments of cheese
Were set out on a couple of dishes
And Random had baked a collapsible cake
Which I must say was truly delicious

"No panto" Aquarion insisted
And we all just smiled at eachother
"It's Panto; you cannot resist it"
And he said "Ohhh yes I... oh bother."

We nattered and chattered, we hugged and we kissed
We argued and geeked (as we do)
And we looked at the clock and discovered we'd missed
I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue

Some fines were imposed - for the raising of funds -
When folks did what they didn't ought'ter:
The quoting of Python, or panto or puns
And renditions of Smoke On The Water

With Ruthi's delightful collection of toys
We practiced the art and the science
Of reducing our fellows to quivers of joy
With a four-legged wooden appliance

Then the hour grew late and we scrambled to fill
The sofas, the beds and the floors
And after some giggles the house became still
Apart from occasional snores

And nobody there was awake to be seeing
The first rays of dawn's early light
And no-one so far has admitted to being
The thing that went bump in the night

But as darkness gives way to another new day
So breakfast becomes the big urge
And thus at the crack of eleven o'clock
The afpers began to emerge

They rose from their sofas, they crept from upstairs
They scampered as quiet as mice [1]
They came to the kitchen in ones and in pairs
In hope of some tea and a slice

A proper cooked breakfast was well under way
By the time the whole house was awake
With sausages opened and placed on a tray
And put in the oven to bake

Then a gath'ring of shoppers went off in a horde
For a trip to the market was mooted
And thus Suzi's larder was duly restored
And the market was pillaged and looted

With so many present the barrel of beer
Was gone by day two, who'd've thunk it?
And this was more scary than it may appear
'Cos only a handful had drunk it.

The bottles of spirit we'd somehow got through
Were also a pretty big load
So we took them away in a journey or two
To the bottle bank over the road

To see Harry Potter some folks were inclined
So they went on a cinema trip
But those who had seen it before stayed behind
Preferring a book and a kip

Once they came back there was not long to wait
'Til Suzi was heard to beseech
"There's food on the table, so pick up a plate!
Line on the left, one spud each!"

There was vintage Max Boyce, there were role playing games
There was Buffy on pirate CD
There were notes high and wrong as we all sang along
With Gid's karaoke PC

By midnight of sleep one is cruelly deprived
And one feels like a physical wreck
And it's then someone says that the time has arrived
For a communal viewing of Shrek

That night and next morning were much as before
So there isn't a lot more to say
For that was where I had to say my goodbyes
Though I wished I was able to stay

T'was truly a pain that I couldn't remain
To see in the new year with you
So farewell my good friends, til we gather again
For Hogswatch 2002!

[1] Poetic licence. [2]
[2] Revoked.


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