The L-Space Web: Filks

Read the FAQs


From: David Chapman
Newsgroups: alt.fan.pratchett
Subject: [I] Filk
Date: Tue, 11 Apr 2000 19:45:59 +0100

To the tune of "Eat the Rich", by Aerosmith.

<irony factor 10>

Well we woke up this morning
On the wrong side of the bed
And how we got to thinkin'
About all the things you said
Like "Hi there, I'm a newbie"
It makes us want to gag
But we've got an excuse to flame
'Cause you forgot to tag.

Now we're sick of all your askin'
What the next book is about
And you always leave on CAPS LOCK
We hate it when you shout
You've had the newsgroup ground rules
Explained by some Old Fart
But we can give you much more Clue
With this here fuckin' LART!

CHORUS:

Read the FAQs!
There's only one thing they're posted for
Read the FAQs!
Read one right now, come back for more
Read the FAQs!
We gotta get this off our chests
Read the FAQs!
The MIGRAF now, come back for the rest

So we posted on AFP
"RTFFAQ,
And do it now, you bastards
Or we're gonna killfile you."
And don't go acting sulky
Because we're being rude
You'll just get into trouble
If you don't go and get Clued.

Now there's no excuse for asking
If Terry P is here
You're just spreading out September
To 3-6-5 days a year
But there's one good thing that happens
When you're flaming every day
The newbies wasting our bandwidth
Give up and go away!

CHORUS

Hey newbies, don't ask questions
That folk have asked before
You wouldn't get flamed so damn much
If you'd just lurk some more
We don't go in for forgiveness
Your leeway must be earned
So read the FAQs, and maybe
You won't get so burned!

CHORUS

Read the FAQs!
There's only one thing they're posted for
Read the FAQs!
Read one right now, come back for more
Read the FAQs!
Don't worry if you're goin' crazy
Read the FAQs!
That's our idea of a good AFP


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