The L-Space Web: Filks

The Gasman Cometh


From: David Chapman
Newsgroups: alt.fan.pratchett
Subject: [I] Filk
Date: Wed, 29 Mar 2000 12:34:28 +0100

To the tune of "The Gasman Cometh".

'Twas on the Monday morning, the newbie came to call
He asked for help with homework and he didn't tag at all
But long before most AFPers could register his name
He disappeared forever in a searing gout of flame.

Oh, it wastes bandwidth when downloading AFP!
Da da, da-da-da da, da, da!

'Tis on the Tuesday morning, the motherFAQers post
And sharpen up their knives to carve another newbie roast
No need to read their followups, you know what each one says
"Read the f**kin' FAQ", a dozen different ways.

Oh, it wastes bandwidth when downloading AFP!
Da da, da-da-da da, da da!

Then on the Wednesday morning, Peter Ellis wrote
That there's no need for everyone to twist a newbie's scrote
Proceeded he to rant at length, and rave and yell and moan
At all the AFPers with excess Cluestosterone.

Oh, it wastes bandwidth when downloading AFP!
Da da, da-da-da da, da da!

But come the Thursday morning, those AFPers state
"Now there's no welcome message we are in an awful state,
"The newbies drive us up the wall, they won't get in the groove"
But claiming AFPers are *sane* is not the brightest move.

Oh, it wastes bandwidth when downloading AFP!
Da da, da-da-da da, da da!

So on the Friday morning, remember, everyone
That newbies aren't about to learn when you leave them well done
Clue posts require insertion of some brain-to-keyboard lag
So we don't put off newbies when the twits forget to tag!

Oh, it wastes bandwidth when downloading AFP!
Da da, da-da-da da, da da!

The traffic's down at weekend, AFPers post from work...

So they'll have to wait till Monday if they want to flame a berk!


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