The L-Space Web: Filks

The Nitwit Song


Author: C. Cooke posted on behalf of Peter Ellis
Newsgroup: alt.fan.pratchett
Date: 13 Aug 1999

In email from Peter:
I'd be grateful if you could post up the following filk, since it didn't get an airing at CCDE -- apart from that, things are cool and froody, and I'll be moving up to Cambs this weekend -- expect me to arrive on IRC and news shortly after said event.

Cheers,
Peter

The Nitwit Song (with apologies to the original writers of the "Chicken Song")

It's that time of year,
Now that summer's in the air
When those Clarecraft twits, in the farm they have to share
Hold another do for the teeming steaming fans
That congregate-ate-ate
With their tents and camper vans.
From the Merkin plains,
From the land of kangaroos,
No matter where they're from,
They'll be here for sun and booze.
Hold a cabbage in the air,
Stick a tentpeg up your nose,
Buy a book or two,
Dress in Masquerader's clothes,
Paint your figurine,
Drink a gallon and a quart,
Form a filk quartet,
And pretend your name is Mort.
Wax your self alive,
Hear a random author speak,
Climb inside a Dog,
And befriend a drunken geek,
Set the world alight with a bonfire in the night,
Let it spread too far,
Proving afpers ain't so bright.
As you neck a pint of scumble,
Your last defences crumble,
You emit a drunken mumble,
"Let's do this thing again"
Hold a cabbage in the air,
Stick a tentpeg up your nose,
Build a catapult from a piece of garden hose,
Still there's no escape from projectile-launching bras,
Or the screaming kids, as they SuperSoak your arse...
Wax yourself alive,
Hear a random author speak,
Climb inside a Dog,
And befriend a drunken geek,
Now you've been here once,
You're an addict, can't you see?
And you can hardly wait
For the next CCDE.
Hold a cabbage in the air,
Stick a tentpeg up your nose,
Buy a book or two,
Dress in Masquerader's clothes,
La la la la la
La la la la la la la
La la la la la
La la la la la la laaaaaaaaa.....
(repeat last verse ad nauseam, ad infinitum, ad fade-out-um)

Peter


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