The L-Space Web: Filks

Visions of AFP


From: Shim
Newsgroups: alt.fan.pratchett
Subject: [I] 'Visions of afp'...
Date: Sun, 05 Dec 1999 23:42:10 GMT

Remember I threatened a Dylan-based filk?

Well, here it is... the tragic result of too much Blonde on Blonde... not anything -specific-, [1] just a year's thoughts accumulated into one set of lyrics, a bit of light guitar and a couple of harmonica solos.

Any acronyms pronounced seperately are se  pe  ra  ted ;)

*hem*. This is called "Visions Of AFP". It used to go like *that* [2]. Now it goes like *this*... [3]

Ain't it just like the froup to lay traps when you try to log on and read it?
They sit here arguing, though we all do our best to deny it
And Gideon waves a handful of refs, temptin' you to deny it
Posts flicker from another cont'nent
Over here the logic seems bent
hash a f p chats with no intent
But there's nothing new, nothing to be sent
Just m p k and his sparrer aligned
And these visions of a f p that blaze through my mind

In the cascade thread where the afpers just fool around with the post chain
And the grizzled old farts whisper of escapades 'fore the newbie reign
We can hear the young lurker read his newsfeed
Ask himself if it's him or them that's really insane
Ailbhe, she's quite right, they're just -here-
Seems delicate, yet a fall we still fear
But she just makes it all too concise and too clear
That a f p's so -near-
The glow of 'lectricity howls through the head of her posts
And these visions of a f p have now consumed their host

Now, a geek lost, he takes himself so seriously
He brags of his mastery, he likes to live dangerously
And when bringing a name up
He speaks of a guru's words to she
He's sure got a lotta gall to be so useless an' all
Muttering insults in his call 'cross to dot au
How can I explain?
Oh, it's so hard not to speak
And these visions of a f p, they kept me up through the week

Inside the rel'vant threads, Pterry goes up on trial
Voices echo... this is what obsession must be like after a while
"But Weatherwax must have had the lovelorn blues -
You can tell by the way she smiles"
I see the lurking wallflower freeze
When the placid-faced meeters all breeze
Through reports where Dutchmen speak like, "Jeeze
I can't find her knees"
Oh, trolls and quizzes throw to the grumblers more fuel [4]
But these visions of a f p, they make it all seem uncruel

The lurker now -speaks- to the young'un who's pretending to care for him
Sayin', "Name me someone that's not a hypocrite and I'll go out and have a
shout for him"
But like Chapman always says
"Ya can't speak without offence, man..."
As afp, herself, prepares for him
And the very end, she still has not showed
We see this 'lectron cage now corrode
Where filking through the age once had flowed
The old fart, he now steps to the road
He posts "ev'rything's been returned which was owed"
On the back of the newsfeed that loads
While our consciences explode
The cycling newbies post the last messages in a grand hymn
And the visions of a f p are now all that begin . . .

[1] Except the bits which are. You know 'em. And I don't mean the names (sorry, Ailbhe, but you were all that seemed to fit...)
[2] http://www.bobdylan.com/songs/visions.html
[3] Filk? Parody? Anal-retentiveness? :)
[4] Well, I was tempted to leave it, mule, but...

-Shim.


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