Welcome In

From: Martin Julian DeMello
Newsgroups: alt.fan.pratchett
Subject: Re: [I] The setting of afp
Date: 10 Dec 2000 22:04:02 GMT

Smiley wrote:
> Um, I just thought I'd mention it. It's ok. I'll just settle
> down in the mud [1] and get out my survival rations.

Mon ami, it is with great pleasure and an ever-so-slightly evil grin that we welcome you to afp. And now, we invite you to come in, hang up your coat[1] and drop your sanity into the fine jar, as we belatedly say

[1] but always where you can get it, of course

Welcome in, welcome in
Let the fun and games begin
Pull a chair up, have some chocolate,
Grow accustomed to the din
Have a drink -
Heck, have two
Ask the fairies for a clue
Get the tagging system mastered
Spit, and call the cat a bastard
Speak of cheese
Speak of bread
You could even start a thread
(Though remember - not to tag would be a sin)
So get into that queue, be
An outspoken newbie,
Welcome in,
Hell - come *in*!
Welcome in

LSpace links
Helpful FAQs
You can find them here in stacks
We don't bite (although we might
If asked politely), so relax
Think us strange
Think us weird
Get yourself a hat-and-beard
Eat and drink, and yes, be merry
Wonder why we call him 'Pterry'
Talk in verse
Talk in rings
Talk in random-looking strings
With an acronymphomaniacal grin
Insert a footnote *there* -
'Twill add a touch of flair -
And welcome in
Take a spin
Round our little loony bin
Welcome in, welcome in, welcome in!

Life can get quite boring for a newbie we're ignoring
Ill at ease, trying not to freeze, out in the rain
Oh, the tragedy of an existence
With your nose against the windowpane

Days without a greeting, not a soul so much as meeting
The proprieties, extending you a hand
Sometimes we just need to be reminded...
Ask why we didn't do it and behold - we snap right to it!

Welcome in!
Welcome in!
Conjure up an evil twin
Get a sig (but not too big)
Attempt to figure out your kin
Learn to quote
Learn to trim
(There's a HOWTO you can skim
If your quoting style's in doubt - look
For the postings headed 'Outlook'
It's a pain, it's a mess
You must fix - but I digress -
(Though I really would consider using tin))
Heck - there are even kooks[2]
Who talk about the books
So welcome in, welcome in, welcome in
Yes, welcome in!

(TTTO Be Our Guest (Disney, Beauty and the Beast))

[2] eye rhyme, but it made a nice ending.

Martin DeMello

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