The L-Space Web: Filks

Afp & Walk of Death & Rincewind won't be a hero


From: Daibhid Cheinnedelh
Newsgroups: alt.fan.pratchett,alt.books,pratchett
Subject: [I] Filks and Farewell
Date: Sat, 27 Nov 1999 19:41:25 GMT

Hi, this is probably going to be my last post for a while, as I my University career didn't turn out quite like I hoped, and I will be returning to Inverness soon B-(. There's apparently a new cybercafe opening up, and my Mum's trying to get us online, so I will return when you least expect it B-). In the meantime, here's a couple more filks:

Rincewind won't be a hero
(with apologies to Bo Donaldson and The Heywoods)

The albatross came to Ankh Morpork
A Great Wizard trying to find
The Faculty consulted, and summoned Rincewind
Trying to leave adventure far behind
He was sent to the Empire
To help the rebels in some way
And there he met Pretty Butterfly
And in his fear he tried to say

Rincewind won't be a hero, he's too much care for his life!
Rincewind won't be a hero, he's scared of swords, bows and knives!
But when he tried to say no,
She said You've no choice but to go-o-oh!
Rincewind, you'll be a hero, take it from me.

The wizard hid out on a hillside
The battle raging all around
He knew he had to hang on here
On this nice, safe piece of ground
Then he fell down a tunnel
And found the terracotta golems
And he found himself back in the mellee
Remindin' himself of what he said

He said:
Rincewind won't be a hero, he's too much care for his life!
Rincewind won't be a hero, he's scared of swords, bows and knives!
But when he tries to say no,
He finds he's no choice but to go-o-oh!
Rincewind, you'll be a hero, just wait and see!
Woh-oh-oh-oh,
Rincewind you'll be a hero, ask the Lady.

I heard that Rincewind was in XXXX
Following his feat that day
Scrappy told him he could be a hero
For Truth, Justice and the Ecksian Way
I heard that Rincewind ran away

Walk of Death
(with apologies to Dire Straits)

Here comes the reaper on his horse named Binky
Talking in his trademarked hollow caps
Hear comes the reaper with his scythe and hourglass
Down in the domain where time don't elapse
He's got the action, he's got the motion
Yeah, he's got the scythe.
Dedication to the Duty,
Severing the thread at the end of the life

He's the final cure for hunger,
He lets the terminal rest,
He do the walk, he do the walk of Death

Here comes the reaper, don't believe the story
He's efficient, but he's not cruel
Here comes the reaper, he don't believe in glory
He's just got a job to do
He's got the action, he's got the motion
Yeah, he's got the scythe.
Dedication to the Duty,
Severing the thread at the end of the life

He's the final cure for hunger,
He lets the terminal rest,
He do the walk, he do the walk of Death

Here comes the reaper on his horse named Binky
Talking in his trademarked hollow caps
Hear comes the reaper with his scythe and hourglass
Down in the domain where time don't elapse
He's got the action, he's got the motion
Yeah, he's got the scythe.
Dedication to the Duty,
Severing the thread at the end of the life

And after all the violence and faltalities
He'll be waiting for your final breath
You do the walk, you do the walk of Death

And finally, one I wrote just now in the microlab, to try and convey
how important afp has been, along with EU Skiffeysoc, during the rather
difficult last two months:

Afp
(with apologies to Lennon/McCartney, natch)

When I found myself in times of trouble
I needed somewhere I could be
Discussing works of Pratchett
Afp
For when I'm feeling tense and angry
I can calm down with a PC
Discussing works of Pratchett
Afp

Afp, afp, afp, afp
Discussing works of Pratchett
Afp
I leave another pointless meeting
With the science faculty
I need to find some humour
Afp
I'd go stark staring bonkers
Leaving University
I need sympathy and humour
Afp

Afp, afp, afp, afp
Discussing works of Pratchett
Afp

And though I may be leaving
There is still a chance that I will be
Posting on this newsgroup
Afp
For though netcafes are pricey
They are still cheaper than therapy
The calming threads of the newsgroup
Afp

Afp, afp, afp, afp
Discussing works of Pratchett
Afp

And, um, I suppose that's it. Sniff. I hate long goodbyes. See you all sometime.


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