The L-Space Web: Filks

Cohen's Lament


From: Daibhid Chiennedelh
Newsgroups: alt.fan.pratchett
Date: 04 May 2001 19:00:38 GMT
Subject: [I]t's Filk time again!

Yes, I suddenly realised I'd been posting for over a month, and had thus far failed to inflict upon you the mangled remains of a once-popular song. So here's one of my latest.

Cohen's Lament
(TTO "I Need A Hero" by Bonnie Langford[1])

Where have all the old men gone, who once fought by my side?
Where are young barbarians to avenge those who died?
All these farms and cottages might make a hero bored,
But even so it can't just be me and the Silver Horde!

We need more heroes!
We all need heroes to battle the threats to the Disc.
And they've gotta be strong, and they've gotta be fast,
And they've gotta all fight in a blitz.
We all need heroes to battle the threats to the Disc.
And they've gotta be sure, and they've gotta come soon,
And they've gotta have no sense of risk!

Somewhere after midnight, in the Agatean Empire,
I learn that half my friends are dead and Hrun's tried to retire
No-one's seen Bravd or Weasel, could they still be alive?
Conina's still with Nijel, who's still on chapter five!

We need more heroes!
We all need heroes to battle the threats to the Disc.
And they've gotta be strong, and they've gotta be fast,
And they've gotta all fight in a blitz.
We all need heroes to battle the threats to the Disc.
And they've gotta be sure, and they've gotta come soon,
And they've gotta have no sense of risk!

I could go back to my tribe at the Hub,
Until my time had fin'ly gone,
If there was someone, somewhere to carry on.
An always-right witch and a cynical cop
Death's grandchild and Rincewind
These aren't heroes of the class I was in
(Of the class I was in, of the class I was...)
Ah! Ah!

We need more heroes!
We all need heroes to battle the threats to the Disc.
And they've gotta be strong, and they've gotta be fast,
And they've gotta all fight in a blitz.
We all need heroes to battle the threats to the Disc.
And they've gotta be sure, and they've gotta come soon,
And they've gotta have no sense of risk!
No sense of risk.

(Incidentally does anyone know if "naif", pronnounced "na-eef", and meaning "person who is naive" is a word? It forms an essential rhyme in a filk I'm working on.)

[1] I typed this by mistake, and it took me a couple of minutes to notice. I left it in because, well, it's quite an image, isn't it? 8-).

Dave

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