The L-Space Web: Filks

Coward Fleeing Gainfully


From: Peter Ellis

pandinac wrote...
>
>G&S filk time again, is it? Okay...
>
>*ahem*
>
>He is the very model of a modern English humourist
>
.....

etc.

Damn! Now you've inspired me, and I had to spend *hours* bashing this one out...

RINCEWIND

I am the very model of the coward fleeing gainfully
I spend my lifetime quivering in fear of dying painfully
I live in dread of criminals, and when I meet a mugger, he
Soon sees my fleeing back as I commence to run like buggery
I'm very well acquainted with an anthropoid Librarian,
As wizards go I have to say he's certainly a hairy 'un
In poly-fractal L-space I'm an island of normality,

<fx: searches for a rhyme for "normality">

And never dare to tamper with the nature of Causality...

OMNES:
And never dare to tamper... etc.

RINCEWIND:
I'm very good at fleeing from humongous beasts with tentacles,
I break out in a rash when I see necromantic pentacles,
In short, when I am quivering in fear of dying painfully,
I am the very model of the coward fleeing gainfully

OMNES:
In short, when he is quivering in fear of dying painfully,
He is the very model of the coward fleeing gainfully

RINCEWIND:
I've stood up Death and left him standing all alone and grumbling,
While coping with a tourist who was short, naive and bumbling,
I've stood on rock-hard bill before creation of the Universe,
And sat among the houris while the Seriph spouted looney-verse.
I made the great Red Army march with sound of smashing pottery
(Some say that I was aided by the One who loves a lottery)
I've granted wishes three to zitty teenage demonologists...

<fx: searches for a rhyme for "ologists"...>

And wrestled with a beast that would confuse all known biologists!

OMNES:
And wrestled with a beast... etc.

RINCEWIND:
Then I can flee so fast I leave my sandals on the ground behind
(The only evidence of me pursuing beasts are ever bound to find)
In short, when I am quivering in fear of dying painfully,
I am the very model of the coward fleeing gainfully

OMNES:
In short, when he is quivering in fear of dying painfully,
He is the very model of the coward fleeing gainfully

RINCEWIND:
In fact, when I know what is meant by "boredom" and by "turpitude",
When I can live in somnolence and overwhelming lassitude
When I'm no longer dangling from a very steep locality,
And when I know precisely what is meant by "sweet banality",
When I am left alone in peace in some secluded area
When I'm no longer chased by monsters like King Kong, but hairier,
When I am in a quiet little tavern getting beerier

<fx: tries to find a rhyme for "beerier">

You'll say this fearful wizzard could not possibly be cheerier!

OMNES:
You'll say this fearful wizzard... etc.

RINCEWIND:
For though my Luggage follows me with homicidal loyalty,
And such devoted homage as a cretin pays to Royalty,
Yet still, when I am quivering in fear of dying painfully,
I am the very model of the coward fleeing gainfully

OMNES:
Yet still, when he is quivering in fear of dying painfully,
He is the very model of the coward fleeing gainfully.

Hi thank you --
Peter


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