I don't like Hogswatch

From: Daibhid Cheinnedelh
Newsgroups: alt.fan.pratchett
Subject: [I} Filks
Date: Wed, 06 Sep 2000 15:38:31 GMT

Okay, due to a problem with the drive, I can't copy the filks I wrote over the past few months from the floppy. Therefore here are the three I can do from memory, starting with my favourite (the original and the character just blend so well):

I Don't Like Hogswatch
(with apologies to the Boomtown Rats)

The scrying crystal inside his head
Shows him how things could be
And no-ones gonna leave a pork pie tonight
'Cause he's stolen their belief
And the assasins don't understand him,
He even gives them the creeps
And you can see no reasons
'Cause there are no reasons
What reasons do there have to be?

Tell me why?
I don't like Hogswatch
Tell me why?
I don't like Hogswatch
Tell me why?
I don't like...
Tell me why?
I don't like...
Tell me why?
I don't like Hogswatch
Tell me why?
I don't like Hogswatch
I want to scy-y-y-y-y-ythe
The whole day down

At the Assasins Guild you get trained to kill
But some people have a natural gift
He's got a mind like a trap, but it's just gone snap
And his sanity's lost in the rift
With his last breath, he'd try to cut down Death
Just for fun, to show it can be done
And you can see no reasons
'Cause there are no reasons
What reasons do there have to be?

Tell me why?
I don't like Hogswatch
Tell me why?
I don't like Hogswatch
Tell me why?
I don't like...
Tell me why?
I don't like...
Tell me why?
I don't like Hogswatch
Tell me why?
I don't like Hogswatch
I want to scy-y-y-y-y-ythe
The whole day down

He's totally in touch with his inner child
So his concience has no sway
And he hates people calling him"Teatime"
When it's pronounced Te-a-tim-eh
And he spends every hour planning
More minor gods to slay
And you can see no reasons
Cause there are no reasons
Who needs reasons anyway?

Tell me why?
I don't like Hogswatch
Tell me why?
I don't like Hogswatch
Tell me why?
I don't like...
Tell me why?
I don't like...
Tell me why?
I don't like Hogswatch
Tell me why?
I don't like Hogswatch
I want to scy-y-y-y-y-ythe
The whole day down

Dave, who probably needs filk-obsession therapy

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