The L-Space Web: Filks

Lady in Black & Angua & The Yard


From: Daibhid Cheinnedelh
Newsgroups: alt.fan.pratchett
Subject: Stay back! It's him again! And we believe he's heavily filked!!!
Date: Fri, 18 Feb 2000 15:30:39 GMT

Yep, during my enforced sabbatical in addition to studying and signing on, I've been writing more filks. Here are two of 'em.

First up, when I left there was a trend for de Burgh filks. I don't know if it's died down in the past four months, but I'm still working on my version of "Don't Pay the Ferryman". In the meantime, try this...

LADY IN BLACK

I've never said that you were an interfering besom in flight
I've never said you had to be right
I've never said that you were a power mad old crone
Looking fit to make folk groan
Please leave me alone
And I never said that you were crazy
Or vindictive to those folk who mocked the craft
I'm not that daft

The lady in black is cursing at me
Too scared to speak
Nobody's here
It's just you and me
That's why I want to flee

Don't know what caused the anger in your eyes
I'll never forget using my tongue to catch flies

I've never used the phrase "evil witch-queen of the night"
I've never said you had to be right
You've been misinformed
I don't know who told you I said you had a vicious glare
But please could you not stare
It takes my breath away

I have never had such a feeling, such a feeling of complete and utter dread
As I do tonight

The lady in black is cursing at me
Too scared to speak
Nobody's here
It's just you and me
That's why I want to flee

Don't know what caused the anger in your eyes
I'll never forget using my tongue to catch flies
I'll never forget using my tongue to catch flies

The lady in black
The lady in black
(ribbet ribbet)
The lady in black...

(Incidentally anyone see Chris on "Top Ten Love Songs" denying he wrote LIR for his wife while having an affair with the nanny? Unfortunately they'd just shown a clip from before the affair was public where he said precisely that.)

And for my next trick, here's a T5E spin on "Caledonia" for Carrot.

ANGUA

I can tell that you can see
The changes that have come over me
In Uberwald I seem to become
Nastier every day

I have lied and issued threats
With you in danger, call off all bets
That's the reason why it gets
To seem I drift away

Let me tell you that I love you
And I think about you all the time
Angua, you are calling me
And we'll be going home

Personal is not important
But losing you would make me more than sad
Angua and Morpork are all
I ever had

Here's one I haven't even told my Mum yet. Remember the theme to Carla Lane sitcom "Bread"? No? Oh, well.

THE YARD

Gotta get up, gotta get out
Grab Ankh-Morpork by the throat and shout
Nab 'im!" "Get 'im!"
The game's getting hard
And being a Watchmen is a losing card

On the rounds and doing the beat
Catching the villians that fill up our streets
Feeling the city straight through the soles of your feet

And then we head home
To the Yard!
A Watchman's only got one home
The Yard!
And nothing's gonna change it, home
The Watch is like a family-ee-ee
And the Yard is home.

I'll go away again now.


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