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The Fresh Start Club

From: Smith and Ellis

Old Windle Poons the wizard lay a-mouldering in his grave,
One day he woke and realised he had a world to save
But he frightened all his colleagues when he gave a friendly wave
So he lurched off to the Club.

Death is not the final story,
Death is not the final story,
Death is not the final story,
The Fresh Start Club is Here!

The Fresh Start Club got started when Reg Shoe rose from the dead,
With a pain all down his left side and a crusade to be led,
If he didn't bring a needle he'd forget his own damn head -
And his Club goes lurching on.

*(Chorus after each verse)*

It's hard to be a vampire when your job is stacking crates,
Especially when your wife insists that she redecorates,
And her upper-class pretensions have offended all your mates -
So you go back to the Club.

And Mrs Drull the ghoul prepares quite dubious party food
Be careful what you order - even though it smells quite good -
The local organ donors often end up nicely stewed
As her pots cook in the Club.

Now Schleppel is a bogeyman who doesn't like to shout
And Ixolite the banshee can't quite get the screaming out,
And Lupine doesn't know (poor dog) what werewolves are about,
But they all come to the Club.

So if you've died in Morpork, just remember when you rise
To read the sign inside the grave that meets your undead eyes
Meet other new Fresh Starters in their everyday disguise
In the meetings at the Club.


- A Hallowe'en Filk by Smith and Ellis
(To the tune of John Brown's Body)

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