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Two City Guards


From: Joy Green
Newsgroups: alt.fan.pratchett
Subject: [R] Two City Guards -- FILK
Date: Tue, 27 Jun 2000 13:11:17 +1200

I thought it was about time Nobby and Fred had a filk to themselves, so here it is:

Two City Guards
TTTO Two Little Boy, by Rolf Harris

Two city guards
One scrawny one large
Each had a badge and bell
Walking the streets
Out on the beat
"Two O'clock and All's Well"
Up goes a shout
A thief dashes out
Out from the Mended Drum
Nobby and Fred
Both shake their heads
Go back the way they've come

A guard's life is pretty easy
If you know how to close your eyes
Stroll along nonchalant and breezy
It's not courageous, but still it's wise
It's not like they're paid a fortune
To take risks or work too hard
And no-one but them takes care of
The life of two city guards

So time passed
Change came so fast
Carrot has joined the fray
A dragon's wings beat
And out on the street
Terror and fear hold sway
Up on a roof
It's time for the proof
That million-to-one comes through
Nobby and Fred
Both aching with dread
Do what they have to do

You'd think they would run away now
But Nobby and Fred are true
There's just them left to save the day now
They've got a job to do
And though they may shake and tremble
At the prospect of being charred
They'll stand fast and pray for mercy
On the souls of two city guards

Joy Green


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