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A Vote for Palpatine is a Vote for Order


From: MegaMole
Newsgroups: alt.fan.pratchett,rec.music.filk
Subject: [I] FILK: A vote for Palpatine is a vote for order.
Date: Thu, 16 Nov 2000 23:29:25 +0000

In article <0ff_0011161320@salata.com>, Kay Shapero
writes
>
>Vote Cthulhu!
>Great Old One beneath the sea.

Well, it had to happen sooner or later. I had to filk the American election. *NOW* look what you made me do. Just remember that

A Vote for Palpatine is a Vote for Order.
TTTO "Lobachevsky", Tom Lehrer

"Who made me the President I am today?
The great politician who wins every vote?
Which Machiavelli has made me that way?
The greatest to wipe baby puke off his coat...

One man deserves the credit,
One man deserves the blame,
Imperial Senator Palpatine's his name!
Aieee! Imperial Senat...

I will always recall the day I first met Senator Palpatine -
In one mind trick he gave the secret of success in politics:
Machinate!

Machinate!
Let no one else control and rule the State,
Remember polls are there to desecrate,
So don't vacillate
But machinate, machinate, machinate...
Only be sure always to call it, please, an impartial recount.
And ever since I meet this man my life is not the same,
And Imperial Senator Palpatine's his name.
Oy! Imperial Senator Palp...

I will never forget the day he gave me my first Jedi mind trick to try.
I had to deform the superior cortical medulla of the left posterior
sulcus to reconnect the cerebellar impulses to the anterior basal
ganglion and thus change the voting patterns of the people of Florida.
Bozhe moi!
Soon my rage is growing.
But I remembered my Sith Master's lessons and I got idea - haha!

Make sure that all the holes
Line up for all the polls,
Then make the names
Look just the same
And steal the voters' souls -
Put votes in one big pile,
And smile your Sith Lord smile,
Then make opponents choke to death by postal vote denial...
And when your work is done -
Ha! Ha! begins the fun.
From counting a pile to evil Sith smile
A couple of chokes, a light-sabre poke,
And soon in a trice (I'm not very nice)
With names the same
And polls with holes
To me the votes will run, yes,
To me the votes will run!

And then I do one recount, two,
And then I sue, and so do you,
Then my opponent screams in pain
When he finds out I've fried his brain...

And who gave me a helmet black, and brought me wealth and fame?
Imperial Senator Palpatine's his name.
Aieee!"

<spoken>

You don't know the power of the Dark Side.

</not-quite-instafilk>

Darth Nader


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