The L-Space Web: Filks

A Whiter Shade of Pale


From: MegaMole
Newsgroups: alt.fan.pratchett
Subject: [I] Company websites - wonderful things, aren't they...
Date: Thu, 4 May 2000 19:05:06 +0100

Isn't it annoying when your company website has so many flaws, faults and damn irritating features... and according to the Sunday Times, is difficult to read...

There's a horrible feeling of "if only they'd talked to me". Other #afpers have echoed my sentiments; if one is to hear Jester's words about what happens to his company website when Java is disabled, one is to receive a Rochester-esque education in profanity.

I offer the following, with apologies to Procol Harum and J.S.Bach, as a sort of guide to what I'm talking about.

A Whiter Shade of Pale

We hit our brand new website,
Turned cartwheels 'cross the Net,
I was feeling kinda seasick,
Background hadn't loaded yet;
Then the page was spinning harder,
As the colours hit my screen,
And I wandered through the hyperlinks
To a sicker shade of green...

And so it was that later,
As the browser told its tale,
That the text at first just ghostly,
Turned a whiter shade of pale...

They said "There must be Java,
And we're running ASP",
As we puzzled at the web design,
They just wouldn't let it be...
Screens in sixteen shades of charcoal,
Funky captions in deep red,
Strained my glasses when I tried them,
And put ringings in my head...

And so it was that later,
As the browser told its tale,
That the text at first just ghostly,
Turned a whiter shade of pale...

[fade out]


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