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If I were Fred Flintstone


From: MegaMole
Newsgroups: alt.fan.pratchett
Subject: [I] Filk - "WILLMMAAAAA!"
Date: Sun, 10 Sep 2000 15:01:35 +0100

This came to me when humming the Topol classic while watching cartoons. Then thinking what a close fit the two were...

IF I WERE FRED FLINTSTONE
TTTO "If I Were a Rich Man", Fiddler on the Roof

"Dear God, you made many real people. I realise, of course, that it's
no shame to be 3-D. But it's no great honour either. So what would
have been so terrible about being created by Hanna-Barbera?"

If I were Fred Flintstone,
Yabba-dabba-dabba-dabba-dabba-deedle-deedle-deedle-dum,
All day long I'd yabba-dabba-doo,
If I were a Bedrock man -
I wouldn't have to work hard,
Yabba-dabba-dabba-dabba-dabba-deedle-deedle-deedle-dum,
If I were a Hanna-Banna-drawn, Ani-mani-manimated man.

I'd have a nice grey house with rocks by the dozen,
Right in the middle of the town,
A fine stone roof with nice yellow floors below -
I'd drive to work in cartoon cars built of logs,
With feet a blur of movement sticking down,
And a dodo on the bumper - just for show.
I'd fill my yard with yapping dinosaurs and such,
For the town to see and hear,
And each loud yelp and honk and flap and snort
Would fall like a foghorn on the ear,
As if to say "Here lives a cartoon man."

If I were Fred Flintstone,
Yabba-dabba-dabba-dabba-dabba-deedle-deedle-deedle-dum,
All day long I'd yabba-dabba-doo,
If I were a Bedrock man -
I wouldn't have to work hard,
Yabba-dabba-dabba-dabba-dabba-deedle-deedle-deedle-dum,
If I were a Hanna-Banna-drawn, Ani-mani-manimated man.

I'd see my wife, my Wilma, looking like a cartoon wife
With that figure-hugging dress,
Supervising meals to her heart's delight;
I see her putting on furs and strutting like a peacock,
Yes, Pebbles' mum's still sexy - more or less -
Worshipping her husband day and night.
And Barney Rubble, my best friend, would come to drink with me,
We'd get slaughtered every night on cartoon beer...
"Come on, Fred!" "Great idea, Fred!" "Let's go bowling, Fred!"
And the hangover would never be severe.
It wouldn't make one bit of difference if I got things right or wrong,
When you're animated, you don't really care;
If I was animated, I could fall down
From any height and never break a bone,
And maybe slide down a brontosaurus' back,
And be the talk of little Bedrock town, and never be alone,
That would be the sweetest thing of all.

If I were Fred Flintstone,
Yabba-dabba-dabba-dabba-dabba-deedle-deedle-deedle-dum,
All day long I'd yabba-dabba-doo,
If I were a Bedrock man -
I wouldn't have to work hard,
Yabba-dabba-dabba-dabba-dabba-deedle-deedle-deedle-dum,
If I were a Hanna-Banna-drawn, Ani-mani-manimated man.


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