The L-Space Web: Filks

Murdering Seagulls

From: Joy Green
Subject: Re: [I] A post on seagulls, inhumation and style
Date: Tue, 14 Nov 2000 17:58:49 +1300

On Mon, 13 Nov 2000 17:36:38 -0000, Gid Holyoake

>In article <8umulv$p26$>, Grymma generously decided
>to share with us..
>> /me didn't just make note of this. Honestly. No sirree...
>Smallish lumps of sodium wrapped in bread are *much* more fun than alka-
>seltzer though..
>See seagull.. see seagull eat bread.. see seagull fly away.. see seagull
>spontaneously combust.. Hurrah!(trousers fall down)..

This one is by request ... Blame it all on Ben and Tap

To the tune of 'Poisoning Pigeons in the Park' by Tom Lehrer

Autumn time, Autumn time,
Winds are blowing and life is fine.
I think the loveliest time of them all is the fall, I do.
Don't you? Course you do!
But there's one thing that makes Autumn right for me,
And makes seaside trips a delight for me...

As the waves kiss the shore there's one thing I adore
I love murdering seagulls on the beach.
And I kick through the sand, with my wife, hand in hand
As we murder the seagulls on the beach.
When they dive for our lunch, they won't see the sodium,
But they 'll soon feel the punch when the sarnies explode in 'em.
The sun's on the spray, it's a wonderful day,
When we're murdering seagulls on the beach.

This grim occupation has proved a sensation in,
This chapel-going nation I must say.
We've had an ovation for assassination,
They say mutilation like this is okay.
Oh, it's popular and it's quite lea-gal,
To blast the wings off of a seagull!

So if you think it's neat, then we'll arrange a meet,
To go murdering seagulls on the beach.
And maybe we'll burn up a shag or a tern,
While we murder the seagulls on the beach.
We'll do them all in from Llangrannog to Cardigan
Have a few beers then to Fishguard to start again.
My laughs will be going up with each seabird blowing up
Whatever the weather - we'll see raining feathers
And murder the seagulls on the beach.

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