The Patrician Doesn't have any Balls

From: Supermouse

In G!G! there is a throwaway line:

"The Patrician seldom had balls. There was a popular song about it, in fact."

So I had this idea. It was one of those ideas that comes to you at three in the morning after too much caffeine and not quite enough chocolate. I see no reason why the rest of you shouldn't suffer as well. :0)

A Popular Ode to The Patrician Commenting on his Lack of Functions:

The Patrician doesn't have balls
It's said that he doesn't enjoy them at all
So you won't find them held in those white marble halls;
The Patrician doesn't have balls.

The Patrician doesn't have balls
It's said that the very thought makes his skin crawl;
He hasn't had one that a soul can recall.
The Patrician doesn't have balls.

The Patrician doesn't have balls
It's said that he never will and doesn't care
So young ladies seeking a mate go elsewhere;
The Patrician doesn't have balls.

The Patrician doesn't have balls
It's said that he hates them, but I couldn't swear.
He avoids grasping maidens, both brunette and fair;
The Patrician doesn't have balls.

The Patrician doesn't have balls
It's said he can dance but have you seen him try?
His refusal makes debutantes on the make cry;
The Patrician doesn't have balls.

The Patrician doesn't have balls
It's said that he will one day, when pigs can fly
You heard it here first, and I tell you no lie;
The Patrician doesn't have balls.

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