The Streets of Ankh-Morpork
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                   by Neil Padgen and Adrian Ogden
           (N.Padgen@reading.ac.uk & A.Ogden@reading.ac.uk)

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      Have you seen the old man in the Street of Cunning Artificers
      Selling hot pig pies (or cow or horse or goat)
      Tangy mustard might disguise the gristle lurking in his pies
      "Just a dollar fifty and I'm cutting me own throat"

  CHORUS:     So how can you tell me that you're lonely
              And say for you that the sun don't shine
              Let me walk you 'cross the Ankh 
              and lead you through the streets of Morpork
              I'll show you something that'll make you change your mind

     Have you seen the old girl in her Quirm Street apartment
     Stitching up the clothing that's piled upon her floor
     "Bugger off!" you'll hear her say, broom in hand to drive away
     The dwarves outside her window and the monks outside her door

     In Harga's House of Ribs at a quarter to eleven
     Black robe and scythe in the corner all alone
     For starter, main course and dessert, look at the front of Harga's shirt
     One thing about this new cook, he works his fingers to the bone

     Have you seen the wizard inside the Mended Drum
     Half his hat is missing, "WIZD" is all that's there
     Permanently paranoid, he shares drinks with an anthropoid
     One more forgotten wizard in a world that doesn't care