From:  emmet 		
Date: 1997/09/15 		
Newsgroups: alt.fan.pratchett 		

In article <341C7713.91BC0850@ukonline.co.uk> , confused at wibble.org wrote: 		

> I cannot tell a lie - Emmet wrote it! Ha! 		

Nope. Things I write have more wordplay[1] and less ferocity. 		

Emmet 		
[1] For example: 		

*ahem* 		

I am the very pattern of a denizen of afp, 		
Though recent circumstances have reduced my posting frequency, 		
I've purchased ankhs and t-shirts and some other merchandise as well 		
I have received proposals some of which were not from Damerell, 		
I have conferred cognomens although none have been intentional, 		
And attended celebrations both Clarecraftic and Conventional, 		
I witnessed certain Chairmen being dunked in substance edible, 		
[ edible.. hmmm ] 		
My skills at hurling cabbages are something quite incredible. 		
[ His skill at hurling cabbages is something quite incredible, 		
His skill at hurling cabbages is something quite incredi-credible ] 		
I've entertained our visitors both Merkin and Canadian, 		
At 	*Independence Day*  I was seen cheering for the alien 		
In short in every circumstance where I am ever found to be 		
I am the very model of a denizen of afp. 		

With Goddesses and pitbulls I am sometimes conversational, 		
I always read ppint posts which I find most educational, 		
On products made of dough I can discourse for hours quite easily 		
And have been known to sit on bars and dress myself up sleazily. 		
Of signatures with hedgehogs in I have created three or four, 		
If searching for a goat I can assist you to select your door, 		
For punes or plays on words I will distort a sentence frantically, 		
And points that are obscure I will illuminate pedantically. 		
[ On points where he's unsure he will expostulate pedantically 		
on points where he's unsure he will expostulate pedantic-antically.]

In courtesy to all I hope I've never yet been found a lout 		
In ASCII I can quickly reproduce a magic roundabout 		
You see it's nice and accurate for all of you to grant to me 		
The title of the model of a denizen of afp. 		

I've folded bits of paper for a person in a purple shirt, 		
And those who deign to notice seem to think I'm something of a flirt, 		
The group has had two weddings both of which I was a presence at, 		
I've signatures by dozens of the bald guy with the snazzy hat. 		
Should you pour imperfect Guinness I will tell you so in great detail, 		
Involving me in flamewars you will quickly find to no avail, 		
Seattle versus Cork, yes, I can argue which is rainier, 		
I have not *quite* succumbed yet to complete megalomania, 		
I've posted using footnotes since the Cabal That Is Not were new 		
And by the way, of Terry Pratchett's books I've even read a few. 		
So I can say with confidence completely categorically 		
I am the very model of a denizen of afp.