From: Adrian Ogden
Newsgroups: alt.fan.pratchett
Subject: New years meet afparty101 - FILKED!!! Ahahaha!!!
Date: 8 Jan 2002 00:52:29 GMT

By now you've hopefully seen Dragon Prince's official report.

Presented herewith for your entertainment and edification,
there now follow my own recollections of Gid & Suzi's New
Year Meet, and I'm a very sick man and I need help...



  'Twas Hogswatch at Suzi & Gid's place
  They were holding their annual meet
  To tempt us with offers of crashspace
  And all of the snow we could eat

  We'd ate all we could of the turkey and pud
  On telly was nought but old hat
  And dull obligations with duller relations,
  Well, who could be having with that?

  So a seasonal meet was a most welcome treat
  And the afpers were glad to respond
  From as near as the village just over the hill
  To the back of beyond... and beyond.

  "There's not enough house room this year
  To sleep all the guests" Suzi said
  But Gid just declared "never fear,
  We'll fit all the rest in the shed".

  On Wales the afpers descended in droves
  In kitchen and lounge they were seated
  T'was plain that the beer and the nibbles and loaves
  Would be only too quickly depleted

  The food was served up and we all found a seat
  For a night of convivial chat
  Marked only by pauses to drink or to eat
  And to pet the occasional cat

  We were all very pleased when assortments of cheese
  Were set out on a couple of dishes
  And Random had baked a collapsible cake
  Which I must say was truly delicious

  "No panto" Aquarion insisted
  And we all just smiled at eachother
  "It's Panto; you cannot resist it"
  And he said "Ohhh yes I... oh bother."

  We nattered and chattered, we hugged and we kissed
  We argued and geeked (as we do)
  And we looked at the clock and discovered we'd missed
  I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue

  Some fines were imposed - for the raising of funds -
  When folks did what they didn't ought'ter:
  The quoting of Python, or panto or puns
  And renditions of Smoke On The Water

  With Ruthi's delightful collection of toys
  We practiced the art and the science
  Of reducing our fellows to quivers of joy
  With a four-legged wooden appliance

  Then the hour grew late and we scrambled to fill
  The sofas, the beds and the floors
  And after some giggles the house became still
  Apart from occasional snores

  And nobody there was awake to be seeing
  The first rays of dawn's early light
  And no-one so far has admitted to being
  The thing that went bump in the night

  But as darkness gives way to another new day
  So breakfast becomes the big urge
  And thus at the crack of eleven o'clock
  The afpers began to emerge

  They rose from their sofas, they crept from upstairs
  They scampered as quiet as mice [1]
  They came to the kitchen in ones and in pairs
  In hope of some tea and a slice

  A proper cooked breakfast was well under way
  By the time the whole house was awake
  With sausages opened and placed on a tray
  And put in the oven to bake

  Then a gath'ring of shoppers went off in a horde
  For a trip to the market was mooted
  And thus Suzi's larder was duly restored
  And the market was pillaged and looted

  With so many present the barrel of beer
  Was gone by day two, who'd've thunk it?
  And this was more scary than it may appear
  'Cos only a handful had drunk it.

  The bottles of spirit we'd somehow got through
  Were also a pretty big load
  So we took them away in a journey or two
  To the bottle bank over the road

  To see Harry Potter some folks were inclined
  So they went on a cinema trip
  But those who had seen it before stayed behind
  Preferring a book and a kip

  Once they came back there was not long to wait
  'Til Suzi was heard to beseech
  "There's food on the table, so pick up a plate!
  Line on the left, one spud each!"

  There was vintage Max Boyce, there were role playing games
  There was Buffy on pirate CD
  There were notes high and wrong as we all sang along
  With Gid's karaoke PC

  By midnight of sleep one is cruelly deprived
  And one feels like a physical wreck
  And it's then someone says that the time has arrived
  For a communal viewing of Shrek

  That night and next morning were much as before
  So there isn't a lot more to say
  For that was where I had to say my goodbyes
  Though I wished I was able to stay

  T'was truly a pain that I couldn't remain
  To see in the new year with you
  So farewell my good friends, til we gather again
  For Hogswatch 2002!



[1]  Poetic licence. [2]
[2]  Revoked.