Author: Johanna on behalf of Dog and Doc 		
Newsgroup: alt.fan.pratchett 		
Date: Mon, 2 Aug 1999 	

Written by Dog, performed by Dog and Doc with acknowledgements to The
Eagles 
Clarecraft '99 	

Clarecraft '99 			
On the east road to Ipswich 			
with the sun in my eyes, 			
keep on washing my windscreen, 			
kamikaze flies. 			
Tried to wind down my window, 			
get the breeze in my face, 			
wrong kinda leaves on my glasses, 			
where the hell is this place? 			
Up ahead in the distance 			
saw a shimmering flame, 			
either gas from the landfill 			
or Elton's been eating beans again. 			
Why am I going to the Clarecraft event? 			
Can I handle the afpers 			
stacked 15 to a tent? 			
Welcome to the landfill down in Woolpit. 			
A deserted place, 			
a weekend to waste, 			
Plenty of room at the landfill down in Woolpit. 			
Every other year, 			
there are loonies here. 			
Darrell's still bitter and twisted. 			
Mike's still geeky as hell. 			
Muppet's still inside a noisy tent. 			
What Womble does, who can tell. 			
And outside near the toilets, 			
They're all sopping wet. 			
Some brought supersoakers 			
some just pine for the net. 			
And I went for an ice-cream, 			
it's a passion of mine. 			
Strawberry and vanilla 			
on a huge 99. 			
And they're painting their figures 			
Amateur style. 			
While the queue for the signing 			
stretches over a mile. 			
Welcome to the landfill down in Woolpit. 			
Chips and burger shack 			
for your heart attack. 			
Having some fun at the landfill down in Woolpit 			
You could wait here too 			
in the toilet queue. 			
All those gathered together 			
they're all here for a price 			
We are all just customers here 			
of commercial device. 			
In the camp of the temple 			
They gather round the beer. 			
Till the following morning 			
when the hangover clears. 			
And back under the oak trees 			
Ailbhe turns into Mum 			
She's got the vocals and the attitude 			
now all she needs is the bum! 			
So it's just one more Clarecraft. 			
One more light in the year 			
and the sarcastic comments aside, 			
it's pretty good to be here. 			
Welcome back to the landfill down in Woolpit 			
Do the bungee run 			
in the blazing sun. 			
One more year in a landfill down at Woolpit 			
Now before we end 			
Just go round again 			
And thanks to Clarecraft down at Woolpit 			
for another event 			
where our cash gets spent. 			
Good to be back at the down at Clarecraft here in Woolpit 			
Thanks to everyone 			
Now at last we're done 		

Johanna