From: "David Ferguson" 
Newsgroups: alt.fan.pratchett
Subject: [I] Frequent Questions, filk warning
Date: Tue, 7 Dec 1999 14:23:51 -0000


Oh dear oh dear oh dear.

Dedicated to all those people who get newbies a bad name by not swiftly
turning cluefull and getting into the afpspirit.  You Know Who You
Are(tm)[1]

To the tune "Stupid Questions" by New Model Army[2][3]

<filk>
Frequent Questions

It's not a crime to be new to afp
And not know how things are done
But you're not some newbie now
So please don't act like one

Well now you've had the welcome mail
And you've seen the friendly face
Still you post HTML
With no spoiler space

Don't sit there and whine about the flack you get
And ask me why it's such a cruel, cruel net, no

Don't ask any more frequent questions
They've already given answers
Don't ask any more frequent questions
They've already given answers to

Well you can filk with the best of them
But your tags remain a mess.
Asking for the next book's plot and
Pterry's address.
If you really want I can name the names
Tell you who meets Death, but we'd both get flamed, so

Don't ask any more frequent questions
They've already given answers
Don't ask any more frequent questions
They've already given answers to

They're in the F.A.Q[4]

There comes a time in your life
You've got to clue up fast
And I think that your time
Is coming at you at last

It's not a crime to be new to afp
And not know how things are done
Most folks start with out a clue
But you really should get one
Asking if we're really Pratchett fans,
And why aren't all the posts about The Man, well

Don't ask any more frequent questions
They've already given answers
Don't ask any more frequent questions
They've already given answers to

Don't ask any more frequent questions
Don't ask any more frequent questions
(Repeat and fade)
</filk>

[1] or maybe they don't?  Anyway, not a dig at all newbies,
most of whom do acquire clue, is the point I was trying
to make
[2] the band, not Oliver Cromwell and co
[3] original lyrics for comparison at
http://www.bd7.net/lyrics/showlyrics.asp?id=16
[4] www.lspace.org/faqs/