From: Jon
Newsgroups: alt.fan.pratchett
Subject: [I] Filk - Casanunda says Bend Down and Deliver!
Date: Wed, 30 Apr 2003 14:55:26 +0100

A good filkslave is always responsive to the needs of his Mistress, and
following revelations about her shameful past, this seems to be called for;

*Casanunda the Highwayman (Bend Down and Deliver!)*

I'm the shortarse highwayman you're too polite to mention
I spend my cash on looking flash and stepladder extensions
The devil take your husband and your virginal expression
The way you look you'll qualify for some of my attention!

Bend down and deliver- your money or your wife!
Give me a minute, and I'm at it like a knife

I'm the dwarfish highwayman so keen on easy passion
The mining boots, and sharpie suits make people think I'm dashing
So what's the point of robbery when nothing is worth snatching?
It's kind of tough to get a stuff when your husband's there a-watching

Bend down and deliver- your money or your wife!
Give me a minute, and I'm at it like a knife

And even though you fool your soul
Your body will be mine
I am the lover-highwayman and
I don't take excuses
I've lots of toys and oils and things, with many novel uses
I'm the lover-highwayman and here's my invitation
Throw your husband overboard and get some excitation

Bend down and deliver- your money or your wife!
Give me a minute, and I'm at it like a knife
And even though you fool your soul
Your body will be mine!

da diddley qa qa da diddley qa qa [repeat over chorus]
Bend down and deliver- your money or your wife!
Bend down and deliver- your money or your wife ....

(TTTO Stand and Deliver by, er, Adam and the Ants)