From: April Goodwin-Smith 
Newsgroups: alt.fan.pratchett
Subject: [I] Filk - House of the Missing Needle
Date: Sun, 04 May 2003 22:56:58 -0600


I share all the good things of afp with my Spousling of Great
Price, and he so enjoyed the recent spate of excellent filks
that he was inspired to emulate all your fine examples.

And so now, may I present to you, on the occasion of his
debut as a filker, my SOGP's first filk:


The House of the Missing Needle

There is a house in Olde Morporke
They call the Missing Needle
And it's open to all species except undead
whether bi- or quadra-pedal

My Mother was a seamstress
She sewed my chain mail vests
My Daddy is a vampyre
In black cape and evening dress

Now the only thing a vampyre needs
Is a fifty-foot lot with a moat
And the only thing that satisfies him
Is a cabbage sale in Scrote

With back paws on the platform
And front paws on the knob
A werewolf still can't open doors
So they all have outside jobs

There is a house in Olde Morporke
Owned by the Seamstress Guild
And it's had nothing to do with acupuncture
Since the day that it was built


Eyethangew.
April.