Newsgroups: alt.fan.pratchett
Subject: [F] [I]'m feeling inspired this weekend, aren't I?
From: MegaMole <PSmithALTO@countertenor.demon.co.uk>
Date: Sun, 29 Nov 1998 13:42:56 +0000 

This came to me while I was oggling the takeaway curries in Waitrose... 		 
You need to imagine a steady 12-bar blues chord progression, probably in
something like D minor. 		

Here goes... (howwwlll!) 		

Now I woke up this morning with Thoughts all through my head 			
I thought I was a dog but I'm a beggar's brain instead 			
My eyes see black and white now but my nose is smelling red - 			
It's a dog's life - I've got those Gaspode blues. 			

(dum duh dum duh DUM duh doobee doo dum duh doo WAAAH...) 			

People give me odd looks when I say "Woof, woof, beg" 			
My only love experience was to shag a postman's leg - 			
I stained the poor man's trousers and I ruined his best shoes... 			
It's a dog's life - I've got those Gaspode blues. 			

(dum duh dum duh DUM duh doobee doo dum duh doo WAAAH...) 			

It's hard to be a Wonder Dog when you don't look too good - 			
I found that happened last time, when I saved that Holy Wood 			
'Cos no-one else gets patted when it's Laddie's neighbourhood: 			
It's a dog's life - I've got those Gaspode blues. 			

(Good boy Laddie!) 			
(dum duh dum duh DUM duh doobee doo dum duh doo WAAAH...) 			

Now my best skin diseases come from humans or from sheep; 			
I've even got me Licky End - it makes those bitches weep - 			
And I get fresh new aftershave from every rubbish heap... 			
It's a dog's life - I've got those Gaspode blues. 			

(dum duh dum duh DUM duh doobee doo dum doo doo WAAAH...) 			
[harmonica or piano break; howling solo] 			

Mad Fido, Dog Guild Barker, was a poodle with some clout. 			
He threatened my mate Angua and that's not what it's about: 			
So I used my special Power and "BAD DOG!" was my way out: 			
It's a dog's life - I've got those Gaspode blues. 			

(dum duh dum duh DUM duh doobee doo dum duh doo WAAAH...) 			

So next time you Smell Foul Ole Ron, don't listen to him swear - 			
Just look for me - the small grey cur with a very hangdog air - 			
'Cos when my master lost his mind he'd nothing left to lose... 			
It's a dog's life - I've got those Gaspode blues. 			

(dum duh dum duh DUM duh doobee doo dum doo doo WAAAH...) 			

'N that's all. 		

Woof, woof, biscuit.