From: "Daibhid Cheinnedelh" Newsgroups: alt.fan.pratchett Subject: Stay back! It's him again! And we believe he's heavily filked!!! Date: Fri, 18 Feb 2000 15:30:39 GMT Yep, during my enforced sabbatical in addition to studying and signing on, I've been writing more filks. Here are two of 'em. First up, when I left there was a trend for de Burgh filks. I don't know if it's died down in the past four months, but I'm still working on my version of "Don't Pay the Ferryman". In the meantime, try this... LADY IN BLACK ------------- I've never said that you were an interfering besom in flight I've never said you had to be right I've never said that you were a power mad old crone Looking fit to make folk groan Please leave me alone And I never said that you were crazy Or vindictive to those folk who mocked the craft I'm not that daft The lady in black is cursing at me Too scared to speak Nobody's here It's just you and me That's why I want to flee Don't know what caused the anger in your eyes I'll never forget using my tongue to catch flies I've never used the phrase "evil witch-queen of the night" I've never said you had to be right You've been misinformed I don't know who told you I said you had a vicious glare But please could you not stare It takes my breath away I have never had such a feeling, such a feeling of complete and utter dread As I do tonight The lady in black is cursing at me Too scared to speak Nobody's here It's just you and me That's why I want to flee Don't know what caused the anger in your eyes I'll never forget using my tongue to catch flies I'll never forget using my tongue to catch flies The lady in black The lady in black (ribbet ribbet) The lady in black... (Incidentally anyone see Chris on "Top Ten Love Songs" denying he wrote LIR for his wife while having an affair with the nanny? Unfortunately they'd just shown a clip from before the affair was public where he said precisely that.) And for my next trick, here's a T5E spin on "Caledonia" for Carrot. ANGUA ----- I can tell that you can see The changes that have come over me In Uberwald I seem to become Nastier every day I have lied and issued threats With you in danger, call off all bets That's the reason why it gets To seem I drift away Let me tell you that I love you And I think about you all the time Angua, you are calling me And we'll be going home Personal is not important But losing you would make me more than sad Angua and Morpork are all I ever had Here's one I haven't even told my Mum yet. Remember the theme to Carla Lane sitcom "Bread"? No? Oh, well. THE YARD ======== Gotta get up, gotta get out Grab Ankh-Morpork by the throat and shout Nab 'im!" "Get 'im!" The game's getting hard And being a Watchmen is a losing card On the rounds and doing the beat Catching the villians that fill up our streets Feeling the city straight through the soles of your feet And then we head home To the Yard! A Watchman's only got one home The Yard! And nothing's gonna change it, home The Watch is like a family-ee-ee And the Yard is home. I'll go away again now. -- Dave, briefly passing through old haunts on his way to somewhere much less interesting. Ex-Libroid of EU Skiffysoc http://www.ed.ac.uk/~sesoc Luck is my middle name. Mind you, my first name is "Bad"