From: Jon
Newsgroups: alt.fan.pratchett
Subject: [I] Some songs for CCA
Date: Tue, 8 Apr 2003 14:10:02 +0100


*Librarian*

I think I'm sophisticated
'Cos I'm living my life like a perfect orangutan
But all around me everybody's multiplying
Till they're taking over the Library man
So they're no better than the animals sitting in their cages in the zoo man
'Cos compared to the wizards and the dwarfs and the trolls
I'm Librarian

I think I'm so educated and I'm so civilized
'Cos I'm a strict vegetarian
But with the over-education information and creation
And the crazy statisticians
I don't want them reading my books no more
I don't want them messing up the library floor
They can all sail away to a distant shore and leave me Librarian

I'm Librarian, I'm the Librarian, I'm Librarian
I'm an orang utan, I'm the Librarian
I'm Librarian

'Cos compared to the dwarf that's down in the mine
Compared to the wizards when they drink wine
They can all go live Where The Sun Don't Shine
I'm Librarian

In man's evolution he has created the student and
the advanced research wizard, but give me half a chance
and I'd be kicking them all out and barring the entrance

'Cos the only time that I feel at ease
Is swinging up and down in the Library
Oh what a life of luxury to be a Librarian

I'm Librarian, I'm the Librarian, I'm Librarian
I'm an orang utan, I'm the Librarian
I'm Librarian

I look round my Library, but I can't see the books
'Cos the pesky students have got them all took
All I can say to the buggers is 'Oook!
I'm Librarian!'

And you can all be silent, in my Library
And you can all remember I'm no monkey

I'm Librarian, I'm the Librarian, I'm Librarian
I'm an orang utan, I'm the Librarian
I'm Librarian

Readers are all just a constant pain
It's only being an ape that keeps me sane
So I'll sit in the shelves and eat bananas all day
Just Librarian

I'm Librarian, I'm the Librarian, I'm Librarian
I'm an orang utan, I'm the Librarian
I'm Librarian

I don't want them reading my books no more
I don't want them messing up the library floor
They can all sail away to a distant shore and leave me Librarian


TTTO, respectively, Itchycoo Park and Lazy Sunday (both Small Faces), and
Apeman (The Kinks). (I realise, Mistress, this isn't quite what you asked
for, but Sunny Afternoon and Waterloo Sunset had already been filked to
perfection by Eric and Joy, so I hope these are acceptable alternatives
*cringe*).