Dedicated to the nameless watchmen.

Tune: "Mambo No. 5" by Lou Bega (with suitable apologies)


Come in, Badge oh-five
there's a riot down the street 
so come on lets ride to the
armoury around the corner
Carrot says he wants to break it up 
but I really don't wanna
have a fight like I had last week
I like my life, so I'll just sneak
Down holofernes, past the Drum, then into short street
and when I arrive there, I'll say I'm on the Gate Beat
but what can I do I really don't wanna die
to me fighting is so stupid, why
One good punch and lights out
and you wake, well you hope, in the gutter.

a little bit of legging it from the fights
a little bit of hiding and you're all right
a little bit of peace is all I need
a little bit of grief is all I see
a little bit of thieving in the night
a little bit of murder just ain't right
a little bit of scarpering from a scrape.
a little bit of luck and you escape.

Pair up, watch out. and when you are in doubt
"ring your bell really loud, there'll be watchmen all about"
trolls from the left, dwarfs from the right
Wolf from the front, and Vimes from the side
grab the gang quick, and tie 'em up tight.
and if you're still alive then you're doing it right.

a little bit of legging it from the fights
a little bit of hiding and you're all right
a little bit of peace is all I need
a little bit of grief is all I see
a little bit of thieving in the night
a little bit of murder just ain't right
a little bit of scarpering from a scrape.
a little bit of luck and you escape.

Watchman, 
A Watchman.

Watch Badge No. 5

a little bit of legging it from the fights
a little bit of hiding and you're all right
a little bit of peace is all I need
a little bit of grief is all I see
a little bit of thieving in the night
a little bit of murder just ain't right
a little bit of scarpering from a scrape.
a little bit of luck and you escape.

I do, ought to 
run away from a fight with you
'cos I can run, and I can hide 
and not free up watch badge oh-five.

Watch Badge No. 5


Barry R. B.F.
-- 
A Random extract from the Imp Files

Importer: "That imp should do it."
Important: "That imp shouldn't do it."