From: Supermouse
Newsgroups: alt.fan.pratchett
Subject: [F] CCDE - Filk
Date: Tue, 8 Aug 2000 19:50:34 +0100


Paul Simon, You can call me Al, from the Graceland album.

***beginning***

Man walks to his tent, says
 'Why am I short of attention now? Got a short little burst of 
attention, woh and my robes are so long. Where are my wife and family? 
Who put that pool there? Who'll be my role-model, now that my old 
costume is gone? Gone.' He ducked back up into the bar with some beardy- 
weirdy hatted writer guy.

There were songs. There were thongs. There were incidents and accidents. 
There were filkathons and singalongs.

'If you'll bring your manager, you can do a show-and-tell. I can call 
you Terry, and Terry, when you call me, you can call me El. Call me El.' 

Man walks to his tent. It's a tent in a strange field. Maybe it's the 
top field. Maybe it's his first time around. He doesn't speak the 
jargon. He holds no supersoaker. He is a foreign man. He is surrounded 
by the sound.

The sound: afpers in the market place. Scatterlings and costume-wearers.

He looks around and around. He sees strangers in the biggest tent. 
Wierdness to infinity. He says

 'Hello' and 'Pleased to meet ya!'

 'If you'll bring your manager, you can do a show-and-tell. I can call 
you Terry, and Terry, when you call me, you can call me El.'

If you'll bring your manager, I can call you Terry'.
(repeat and fade)

***end***

Chris, on reading this filk, has pointed out that it makes little sense without an explanatory wossname. And he's right. It makes barely enough sense if you *did* see what I saw. So, for those that weren't there, or missed references, here is the song again, glossed:

***begin***

A man walks to his tent, says 
 'Why is it soft in the middle now? Why is it soft in the middle when 
the rest of the ground is so hard?

[I thought this bit was self-explanatory, but apparently not so. The 
'it' referred to is the tent. Or the floor of the tent. Although the 
ground this year wasn't as peg-shatteringly hard as last year.] 

 I need a spot by the water-tap. I want to camp in a quiet place. Won't 
leave my underpants in a tent-peg graveyard.'

[There were two pairs of underpants (and many forgotten tent-pegs) left 
in the 'noisy' field that I saw. And apparently I missed a third pair 
this year, and a red pair seen wandering about the site last year as 
well.]

Book signing.

Book signing - fans in the sunlight.
 'Bloody queue still goes right to the door. Mr Weerdfello,

['Mr Weerdfello' was just made up to fit the song. No reference to 
anything real or imaginary intended here.]

 weird fellow, stack those books away from me. You know, I don't find 
job lots amusing any more'

 'If you'll bring your manager, you can do a show-and-tell. I can call 
you Terry, and Terry, when you call me, you can call me El.'

Man walks to his tent, says
 'Why am I short of attention now? Got a short little burst of 
attention, woh and my robes are so long.

[This is a reference to the masquerade, which is a judge-the-costume 
event at CCDE.]

 Where are my wife and family? Who put that pool there?

[The paddling pool, by the bouncy castle, which was picked on purely 
because it scanned. It was really unremarkable otherwise. A version for 
Woozle would substitute 'wall' for 'pool'. :0/ (*hug*) ]

 Who'll be my role-model, now that my old costume is gone? Gone.' He 
ducked back up into the bar with some beardy-weirdy hatted writer guy.

There were songs. There were thongs.

[Well, to be honest, I'm not totally sure about thongs in the underwear 
sense. But there was a whip.]

 There were incidents and accidents. There were filkathons and 
singalongs.

'If you'll bring your manager, you can do a show-and-tell. I can call 
you Terry, and Terry, when you call me, you can call me El. Call me El.'

Man walks to his tent. It's a tent in a strange field. Maybe it's the 
top field. Maybe it's his first time around. He doesn't speak the 
jargon. He holds no supersoaker. He is a foreign man. He is surrounded 
by the sound.

The sound: afpers in the market place. Scatterlings and costume-wearers.

He looks around and around. He sees strangers in the biggest tent. 
Wierdness to infinity.

[There were actually two largish tents (well, gazebos) that I noticed, 
but as they *both* had afpers in residence I'd say that the line should 
stand.]

 He says

 'Hello' and 'Pleased to meet ya!'

 'If you'll bring your manager, you can do a show-and-tell. I can call 
you Terry, and Terry, when you call me, you can call me El.' 

If you'll bring your manager, I can call you Terry'.
(repeat and fade)

***end***

Well, it beats doing a proper meet report.

Cordially,

Supermouse