From: rachel walmsley
Newsgroups: alt.fan.pratchett
Subject: [I] Filk - Clementine
Date: Fri, 23 Aug 2002 15:25:07 +0100

This idea is courtesy of Nattie, Eric Jarvis and Neil Gaiman, and arose
out of a discussion about the pronunciation of Coraline at yesterday's
instameet. I trust you all to be able to figure out the pronunciation by
yourselves.

The orginal version can be found at http://www.greatdreams.com/clem.htm

In a maths lab, in a college
Calculating for a mean
Statistician, with a vision
Of his daughter Clementine

CHORUS
Oh my darling, oh my darling
Oh my darling, Clementine
Thou art lost and gone forever,
Dreadful sorry, Clementine.

And she lived in old Northampton
And she swam the river Nene
What solution to polution?
Nose plugs were for Clementine

CHORUS

She fulfiled her life's ambition
Dreamed of as she swam the Nene
As an extra, part in Star Trek
She got captured by the Breen

CHORUS

After this she started taking
Marijuana and morphine
But alas, she got addicted
So I lost my Clementine

CHORUS

Made ham-fisted by statistics
Hurt his thumb upon a pein[1]
Got drugged up all in hospital
Dad's as stoned as Clementine

CHORUS

On TV she still doth haunt me
Getting captured by the Breen
Though back then she was quite chubby
Now on drugs, she is quite lean

[1] It's a part of a hammer, apparently. And if you need to ask how to
pronounce it, you haven't been paying attention. And yes, I was
clutching at straws.