From: "MegaMole" Newsgroups: alt.fan.pratchett Subject: [I] There's Klingons off the starboard bow, Captain... Date: Mon, 21 Feb 2000 18:27:21 +0000 Blame those nutters in the Nearly Music Consort (sort of like AFPMad, but a wider scope) for this one. One line is all it takes... Oh, all right, I'll print the vocab. at the bottom. But might be useful. ======================================== KLINGON CUISINE ======================================== To The Hippopotamus Song, by Flanders and Swann A bold Klingon officer was sitting one night Near his Bird of Prey's holosuite door; He wiped the blood off his hair as he finished his fight And cleaned off his ba'atleth once more; A voice on the comm link announced to the crew That their tables were soon to be laid; As thoughts of much drinking Pricked our hero's thinking. He shouted this gruff serenade: GaH, gaH, glorious gaH, Nothing quite like it to stuff Ha'DlbaH; So let's make a sally Down to the galley And feast liberally On glorious gaH! As he walked down the corridor, he happened to see A most comme il faut Klingonette: He wasn't quite too horrid or too ugly to be A randy old ghuy'cha' just yet; He thought "Yes! HIjol!" as he noticed her ngech And she eyed him all over again; A finger he beckoned Then, just as he'd reckoned She joined in his happy refrain: (chorus) Then more drunken Klingons began to convene In the galley just aft of the bridge; I couldn't say anything on the terrible scene Of the feast near the may'Duj's fridge; They'd had too much HIq, and they started to chant While the yIH purée round them did fly, As every brave warrior Sang old Klingon opera This aria rose up to the sky... (Final chorus) -- "Cut-Everyone-Else's-Throat Dbl'aHgh" ba'atleth: long, pointy bladey thing used by Klingons to cut each other to small ribbons. gaH: wormy stuff Ha'DlbaH: meat ghuy'cha': @#@$@%! HIjol: beam me up may'Duj: battle cruiser HIq: wine yIH: tribble Spelling is (or should be) in accordance with standard tlhIngan Hol convention. -- * MegaMole, The Official Enrico Basilica : Chocolate rix in thy tum * Wearer of the Waistcoat of Despair (sob) and Patron Faint of Falfetto Firukojutsu-no-Sensei - mail: / NEWER MOLEHILL! at