From: Nigel Stapley
Newsgroups: alt.fan.pratchett
Subject: [I] Filk
Date: Sun, 20 Apr 2003 11:49:01 +0100

Funny the thoughts that come into your head at 6 o'clock on a Sunday
morning...

<spoken>

Girl 1 : Is he really selling arms to him?
Girl 2 : Well there he is, let's ask him.
Girl 1 : Donald, is that Saddam's ring you're kissing?
Donald Rumsfeld : <muffled> hmmHMMM!
Girl 1 : Gee, it must be great trading with him!
Girl 2 : Is he picking you up at the UN tonight?
DR : <more muffled> HMM-hmm!
Girl 1 & Girl 2 : By the way, where'd ya meet him?

DR : <sings> I met him at the weapons fair. He turned around and smiled at
me. You get the picture?

Girl 1 & Girl 2 : <retching>

DR : That's when I fell for The Leader Of Iraq.

<fx: low-flying missiles>

DR : The liberals were always putting him down.
        They say he'd gassed an entire town.
        They told me he was bad,
        But I just knew his moustache was sad.
        But still I fell for The Leader Of Iraq.

        One day, The Prez said, "Find someone new".
        I had to tell my Saddam, "We're through".
        He stood there and he asked me why.
        I said, "'Cos they won't let you fly.
        They're coming to get you, O Leader Of Iraq!"

<fx: bombers>

DR : <spoken>

        He sort of smiled, and waved me goodbye,
        But his fears were beginning to show.
        As the bombs fell on that cold Spring night
        I begged him to lie low.
        But whether we killed him, we may never know...

<fx: missiles>

        Look out! Look out! Look out! Incoming!

<fx: huge explosion, followed by two seconds of silence, then obligatory
'clunk' as something falls off what is left of a wall>

        I felt so helpless, what could I do.
        Remembering all the deals we'd been through.
        All the WMDs he had,
        Did he sneak them cross the border to El-Assad?
        I'll never forget you, O Leader Of Iraq.

<fx: more missiles>

        Leader Of Iraq, where has he gone?
        Leader Of Iraq, where has he gone?

<repeat and fade, then reprise in Syria, Iran, Lebanon, Egypt, Milton
Keynes.....>

**********************

Original by Jeff Barry, Ellie Greenwich & George Morton. Parody by Nigel
Stapley 2003.

**********************

Coming up after this word from your local station : the flip-side, "I Lost
My Arms To A U.S. Trooper"....



Nigel Stapley