From: The Roach Newsgroups: alt.fan.pratchett Subject: [I] New job... and a filk Date: Fri, 7 Apr 2000 10:49:47 +0200 OK, those on #afp already know, but it's wuite likely there are a few on afp who know me from ages past and haven't heard yet. I got a new job. I'm leaving my old work to become an editor (IIRC) for the Dutch edition of the c't, which in itself is _the_ computer magazine in the Netherlands. So, after six years of help desk work (Yes, SIX years, and all of them on the same help desk...) I am finally getting away from the phone. I just wonder how long it will be before a ringing phone doesn't make me cringe. To celebrate this momentous occasion, I have written a li'l something. It's not meant to slag off my old work place - to be honest, I rather enjoyed most of the colleagues and the atmosphere and I doubt the new job will be _that_ nice in this respect. It's meant more as a salute and a way to say 'remember the Ala^H^H^H^Wme'. There are a few terms that probably won't mean much to outsiders, but I hope they are few and far between. Oh, what melody, you ask? That should be quite obvious after the refrain. Just remember, I don't like the Madonna version... A long long time ago I can still remember how the lusers used to make me smile And I knew if I had my chance that I could make those 'puters dance and maybe they'd be working for a while But Ninety-Five did make me shiver With the OS they did deliver Bad news on the hard disk I couldn't take one more risk I can't remember if I cried The day my first installation fried But something touched me deep inside The day my hope just died So bye-bye, Packard Bell, it's bye-bye Cleaned my desk just like my hard disk and I'm ready to fly I'll live without you - or at least I'm willing to try How comes it feels as if I'm gonna die How comes it feels like I'm gonna die? Did you write the knowledge base And do you have faith in what it says If TSRC(1) tells you so? DO you believe what the lusers say, can a stupid joke just make your day, And when they mess up, can you tell me what to say? Well I know now that lusers often lie Even though noone understands why They just spout off excuses Man, I dig those power users With the customers you are all alone With your own computer and a phone I guess that's why I did simply groan The day my hope just died. I started singin', Bye-bye, Packard Bell, it's bye-bye Cleaned my desk just like my hard disk and I'm ready to fly I'll live without you - or at least I'm willing to try How comes it feels as if I'm gonna die How comes it feels like I'm gonna die? Now, for six years I've been working here And people thought I'd never leave This shows how wrong people can be Oh, the MIRO sang for the users all With the DOS drivers that rarely fall While the WIN drivers we still had to see. Oh, and while this all was going on The move to France had also won The burn-in was adjourned No work-system was returned While we tried to figure out just why the call back list grew all sky-high And sometimes we just had to lie The day my hope just died And now I'm singing bye-bye, Packard Bell, it's bye-bye Cleaned my desk just like my hard disk and I'm ready to fly I'll live without you - or at least I'm willing to try How comes it feels as if I'm gonna die How comes it feels like I'm gonna die? Helter Skelter in a summer swelter. As we were sitting in that shelter At over thirty Centigrade The little airco almost croaked We were sweating and our heads smoked While the summer time would simply not abate. From there it was the old burn-in room Where our teeth chattered a different tune Whereas it had been hot Now really cold it got "The Freezer" was our playing field renovation noise refused to yield and lots of problems were revealed and some day my hope just died. I started singing, bye-bye, Packard Bell, it's bye-bye Cleaned my desk just like my hard disk and I'm ready to fly I'll live without you - or at least I'm willing to try How comes it feels as if I'm gonna die How comes it feels like I'm gonna die? Oh, and there we were all in one place, A generation lost in space While all the lusers call again. So come on: Jack be nimble, Jack be quick! Jack Flash sat on a candlestick Cause fire is the Devil's only friend. And someone had this great idea And said to us, "Now listen here Remastering is fine It should just take much more time" And as the flames climbed high into the night To light the sacrificial light, drums beat a TATTOO(2) of delight The day my hope just died They were playing bye-bye, Packard Bell, it's bye-bye Cleaned my desk just like my hard disk and I'm ready to fly I'll live without you - or at least I'm willing to try How comes it feels as if I'm gonna die How comes it feels like I'm gonna die? I met a tech who sang the blues And I asked him for some happy news But he just smiled and turned away. I read up on the information store As I had done so many years before But the news there didn't make my day And in the cubes the techs almost screemed The lusers yelled, and we were creamed But not a word was spoken; our help files all were broken. And the free men I admire most Of their new jobs they all did boast They caught the last train for the coast The day my hope just died. And they were singing, bye-bye, Packard Bell, it's bye-bye Cleaned my desk just like my hard disk and I'm ready to fly I'll live without you - or at least I'm willing to try How comes it feels as if I'm gonna die How comes it feels like I'm gonna die? They were singing, bye-bye, Packard Bell, it's bye-bye Cleaned my desk just like my hard disk and I'm ready to fly I'll live without you - or at least I'm willing to try It feels as if I'm gonna die Footnotes: (1) Technical Support Ressource Center - or, more commonly said, 'Second Level' (2) Software designed to prevent unauthorized copying of data - don't ask! -- penI'yIn 'ej pechep The Roach (Spammer trap - when replying by e-mail, check headers for User-ID and domain, else you're addressing my spambin...)