From: Adrian Ogden
Newsgroups: alt.fan.pratchett
Subject: [I][FILK] Pond Life
Date: 5 Feb 2001 17:58:00 GMT

To the tune of a well known  song by Blur:


   POND LIFE


Courtesy is a preference largely ignored by those
habitually known as...
(Pond Life!)

And netiquette can be avoided if you don't mind being
seen as what is known as...
(Pond Life!)

Dave got downsized, now he gets excited by some
"Make Money Fast!" scam, he wants a slice of it.
(Pond Life!)

Who's that dork cross-posting?
You should try getting off AOL mate, get a real ISP!

   CHORUS:
   All the lusers
   So many lusers
   They all go mouse in hand
   Sending spam 'cos they're
   Pond Life
   Know what I mean?

I read mail when I want, except on Mondays,
when I have to clear out the weekend backlog.
(Pond Life!)

I weed out the spammers, trace their ISPs,
and report them for usenet abuse.
(Pond Life!)

I read my newsgroups, but I never feed the trolls,
it gives them a smug sense of bloated self-importance
(Pond Life!)

And then I'm happy for the rest of the day, safe in the knowledge
there will be one less clueless moron out there to ruin it.

   CHORUS:

Pond Life - Pond Life!
Pond Life - Pond Life!
Yeah, like I wanted 10 million email addresses or online Viagra.
Pond Life - Pond Life!
And those hoax virus warnings that go round and round and round... 
Pond Life - Pond Life!