From: MegaMole Newsgroups: alt.fan.pratchett,rec.music.filk Subject: [I] The Dugong Song Date: Mon, 10 Apr 2000 18:27:08 +0100 This is by way of being a little song I wrote after last Saturday's visit to the Natural History Museum with some afper friends. It struck me what a sad and philosophical animal the manatee must be. And I waxed (turtle-wax, bees-wax or some other sort?) lyrical as follows. I believe the tune of the Milky Way Song from The Meaning of Life fits; you are free to stitch any other to it, though. ======== The Dugong Song, or Manatee Mambo (c) Mole Filks 2000 ======== The poor aquatic dugong, also known as manatee, Is an animal with greatly misplaced pride; He has Velcro on his chin, and boasts a sense of vanity Which his neighbours think is most unjustified. For his saggy baggy body is surrounded by grey skin Which is rather wet and slimy to the touch; His mouth curves at the corners in an idiotic grin, Though by rights, he shouldn't smile at very much. And this manatee insanity is nowadays too rare; They're not aerodynamic, nor too fast. They're all a bit myopic, so they haven't got a prayer When a motorboat propeller slices past. They have dugong congregations off the warm Orlando coast Nursing injuries to flippers, flukes and hide; They compare their dugong dossiers on who's been hit the most As they slowly undulate from side to side. The manatees, however, have distinguished histories; In the days of anchors, sails and drunk Jack Tars They impersonated mermaids with a quite surprising ease, Causing many a tale in grog-stained dockside bars. "Now imagine moi surprise, moi lads, when Oi dived off the side For some rumpy-pumpy with a blonde-haired fish, And got cuddled by a flipper much too thick, and much too wide, And a face a little hairier than Oi'd wish." So now we know the reason for their sly and secret smirks, And their leisurely and slothful attitude; They perceive hu-manatee as simply drowning, sex-mad jerks - Their assessment of our threat is sadly skewed. And if by misadventure you might meet a manatee, Don't laugh at this sad beast you've chanced upon, Just like Ecclesiastes, you'll find *all* is vanity - 'Cos very soon dugongs will be... du-gone. -- * MegaMole, The Official Enrico Basilica : Chocolate rix in thy tum * Wearer of the Waistcoat of Despair (sob) and Patron Faint of Falfetto Firukojutsu-no-Sensei - mail: / NEWER MOLEHILL! at