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Hubland Barbarians' Diary

Deer Diery,

Well, that wos an interestin six munths. I had to decide wich of der
neyburs boys to beet up first.

It looked like I wos makin frends wiv all of dem, but i kno dat some
of dem decide to gang up on me soon, so I got to decide who to go for

Der two obvius candidtaes still Genua and der Oggs an I can't do 'em
both. Der ain't fuffin I can do to slow down der Oggs much. Der best
I could hope for was a bounce in Lancre, but it cost me as much as it
cost dem, so I decide not to. However, der emprer of Agatea have an
army ready to cross der ocean; maybe he can help he.

Also, my frend in Muntab forget to send his second fleet to sea. Dis
mean dat he not gain a SC dis year, and Genua have easy time an he
get strong. Den I got two strong neyburs which I doan need nohow.

So, I send a messenger pig to Muntab suggesting sum moves for him to
make, not to win him anyfing now (although it might get him into
Borgrovia) but to stop Genua gaining Borogravia or Momerathia, and
give him der chance to gain SC's next year.

I also send another pig to Genua to say dat I doan much like having
a fleet _and_ an army of his on my border, an I thinking of ordering
my fleet from HWO to NoT to bounce him. Dis way, he hav to use der
army in NoT to support one fleet or de other an not get any closer.

I kno he was away from his palace for a while, but I also know he had
plenty of time to reply and he didn't do I now sure dat he goin to
move against me.

Therefore, I fink, what if he use der army in NoT to support F Rrk-NoT?
If I try for der bounce, he still get der SC an I only get 2. But if
I order F HWO-Bla, he win one and lose one, but I win an extra one. So
dat is what I order and it worked.

Den I talk to der Oggs 'cos I want to keepp dem peaceful for now, and we
talk about our attack on Agratea, and we fink it a good idea to lure
der Agatean army to where we can bash him up and he agree I should
support der convoy. Also I talk to Agatea about our attack on Ogg, and
we agree I should support der convoy. Great, two satisfied customers
(for now).

I also talk to der Patrishun of der Circle Cities about a future attack
on Ogg, and we agree it can't come yet as we not in der right positions.

Den der move is prossessessed and I dead chuffed cos I guessed rite
about Ogg and Genua and now I going to get three new units to play
with. I decide I need another fleet in case XXXX get pushy, and also
to support my fleet in Bla and support an attack on NoT. I need
an army in Hub in case der Oggs been lying to me. And I decide der
last should be an army 'cos although I want another fleet, an army
in Vor is more adaptable to defending what I already got an I can
build a fleet later.

Den I decide I need to talk to der Patrishun again, but sicurity offisser 
get drunk an send messenger pigs to everyone with der same messsidge and 
I in deep cack. I make up story for der Oggs which is almost der exact
truth, and act reely embarassed in public, but tell both der Oggs and
der Patrician dat is was an attampt to divert evryone else away from
what is reely happenin. Oggs say dey belive me but now I doan kno if I
belive dat dey do believ an I can see dis getting very complicated.

Hrun is referring to the now legendary time when his incompetant
servant mailed Hrun's orders to all of Hrun's enemies. This mistake
is now, for some reason, known as a 'Piersa'

Oh well, time will tell. Time to go now as I hav a sicurity offisser to

(X) his mark

Well, I's just a simple Barbariun and I gettin reelly confused. I
can't even seem to remember who my frends are, hur hur hur.

Neway (thanks Bascule) I continue to work with Agatea against Ogg, and 
with Ogg against Agatea. Dat way, I get to keep dem both as frends, hur 
hur hur.

Onli, I make der big cockup again. I manage to convince Ogg dat is a good
idea to push Agatea's A Eca into a killsack in Ool. Good, he agree. And
Agatea agree it a good idea 'cos it set up an attack against der Ogg in
Lla and maybe more. But i forget I have to keep Hub covered. Lookin at
der map, I have der fantastic plan for derceevin both of dem, but I forget
I have to keep Hub covered.

Result: I have bothe players where I want dem, both believing what I want
dem to belive, but I don't have me where I need to be. Oh Bugger.

So dat plan buggrup and I have to start again. Ogg would have allowed me
to attack and gain Lan and Agatea to gain Lla if only I had not left
Hub empty; my plan not believable anymore.

OK, a long chat wid der Ogg has us agreeing dat he should make some spoilin
attacks against Agatea in Ool and Pel to prevent Agatea mounting a supported
attack into Ctk. Dis mean I can send a message to Agatea saying he should
take Ctk from me cos he need it more dan I, and I get a SC in NoT. Agatea
fink I a great big freindly Barbarian dude what only have his best interest 
at heart, but I get to keep my SC and Agatea get fed to der War Pigs.

Meewhile, a new leeder arrive in Genua and he tryin to convince me I need to
work wid him or XXXX park his dogs on my lawn. Unfortunatley, he let slip dat 
he goin to talk to der Swedish leeder of Muntab too, which kinder spoil
his credibility, cos der only Swede is der XXXX what he say he already 
spoken to.

Neway (thanks again, Bascule) I take der opportunity to talk to Bruce 
der Hoon of XXXX about what happen in future. HWO figure prominently in der 
conversashun cos it bein a pane for him but a bigger pane for me. I hope to 
get NoT dis year, but to be absolutely certain, I have to attack wid der 
fleet which I wuld rather keep in HWO. But dis will mean dat I have 4 SC's 
bordered by WHO, and XXXX only have 2 like dat, so I fink HWO much more 
inportant to me. I explane dis to him but I don't no how he feel yet.

Finally, I also talkin to Muntab. I hav promised to support him into Kyt 
but I need to no which of his fleets to support. He say he not sure if he 
need der support now, although dat take more trust of der Circle Cities dan 
I could ever give. So I give temporay order to F Bla to cut off der retreat 
o Genua's F NoT, but I reely fink dat Muntab need my help and I tell him 
again. I still waitin to here wot he fink of dat, and time is runing out.

A longer look at der balance of powers tell me dat:-

Agatea is for der long drop. XXXX is about to eat his lunch and Ogg will
probably convoy an army into Wun which will send der peeple onto der pitch
cos it reely will be all over.

Genua is a walking corpse (but dat part of der history of der place neway 
(cor Bascule, you helpin my spellin a lot today)).

XXXX is my next enemy cos when he done wid Agatea, I am der only place in
reach so I need to get ready and hit him first.

Muntab is in trouble if der Circle Citis/Nef axis holds together, so I would
do well to  give him some help and slow dem doen some.

Circle Cities is headin my way and I don't like dat much. If he gets it 
into his head to attack me when I am busy elsewhere (and I will be) I am 
in trouble.

Nefland is too far away to affect me, so I just watch and try to persuade
someone else to be a newsense to him.

Ogg. Hmmmm, Ogg. Ogg gettin powerful real quick here an I gettin on like 
a yurt on fire wid dem. I can't do no damn good in der medium term unless 
I hav a good ally, and Ogg in a good position to do some harm to der Circle 
Citis if dey get to be newsensitive, and also slow down der Nefland some. 
He cant harm or help in Genua or XXXX, although he prolly get into a fight 
wid XXXX in Agatea soon. But no-one can hurt me as bad as Ogg can if dey 
turn against me. So, lots of work needed to maintain Ogg as my Number 1 
Ally for some time to come; but when der nife go in, it hav to go in deep.

X (his mark)

Autumn 02.

Dear Dairy, well der Hoon agree wiv wot I sed, and so my boys got
Nothingfjord. Also Muntab got into Kyt, which just as well as he lost
Gha. Fings dont look so good for him at der me. 

Jason Ogg cumpleetly ruined my joint attack on him wiv Agatea. I 
wunder how he new exaccly what to do? Hur! Hur! He goin to put
an army into Agatea soon, dat foreshore.

Now, I got to build. I fing it got to be a fleet. Bruce der Hoon only
got one way to go when he finish wiv Agatea. Dat mean I got to get him
before he ready, which mean before it look like I'm ready, too. A fleet
it is den. Cor, whodathort der Barbariuns would become a bunch of sailors?

Spring 03.

Dam. Der Patrishun built an army in Ank. Why he build closest to me? I 
been tryin to get him into a fight wiv der Oggs for a while, but he tell
me he still too bisy wiv Munntab (an I tryin to get him to stop dat, too),
so why he go an build it now? Hmm, got to keep an eye on him.

Der Nef fleets is movin slowly Widdershins, too. I no he need dem to keep
his attack goin on Muntab, but dey not so far away from me. He askin me
if I goin to attack XXXX. Dam, is he jus tryin to make trubble, or can he 
see what I am finkin? I doan want him comin aat me from Spinwards if I'se
bisy wiv XXXX either. Still, I got to start now before it become any more

Sorry Bruce.

Perhaps I should say sorry to Five Clappin Duck, too. We still makin plans
for his army in Ool, but XXXX all over him like a smelly yakskin and now
Ogg goin to have a piece too.

Oh well, we are livin in interestin times, dat foresore. Cor, I just got
dis starnge feelin of dayjavoo!

Autumn 03.

Well, Bruce in no doubt wot happenin now. He askin if dere is a deal dat
would make me go away but he not stoopid an no dat I cant back out now.
Also, der Oggle has landed, in Agatea. Jason now talkin to XXXX about wot
dey can do together an how dey split Agatea, so I get to hear some of
what happenin. XXXX goin to press on into Agatea so he get a build. Dat
good news an bad news for me. I no I take one build off him this year, so
no nasty surprises yet, but I got to do him quick.

I've left Genua alone for long enough. Time to finish him off. Muntab goin 
to need more help reel soon.

I worried about Agatea too. He could still piss on my campfire if he felt 
like it. His army in Ool threatn Hub and Ctk cos he got a fleet to use
too if he feel like it, and wiv dem other two about to eat his rice, he
probably feel like it. I tell him cos he my ally, it important for him
to take Ctk off me to get a build; but reely I do it so he doan't go
to Hub, an I defemd Ctk so he doan take it. Don't fink we goin to be
friend after dis, but dere not much garden path left to lead him up

Winter 03.

Today I got a yakskin wiv a picsher on it an sayin Welcome to 
Purdeighsisland, and on der back, someone had written "Rape, loot and
pillage lovely, wish you were here." Innat nice?

More fleets needed now.

Spring 04.

Well, dat Agatean army finally gone from Ool. Dat a big si of releefe.
Pheew. Now I can get on wiv gettin my fleets out, speshully as XXXX is
goin to take Sdi, so I got a chance if I quick. But it bad news dat he
get Sdi, cos it mean he get a build and I doan no how I goin to take it
off him yet. Jason Ogg say he agreed to support der XXXX fleet in, but
dat he goin to give der order wrong so it fail, but look like a mistake.

Muntab in deep trubble, so we try to finish Genua together and take a SC 

Autumn 04.

Well, we got into... oldonnaminnit! Blimbey! Stap me vittles with a gourd
of rotten yaks milk! Neflands has only turned on his faithful ally and
stabbed him one! That really goin to set the sossage maker among the
messenger pigs.

Jason Ogg wants to no if we should turn on the Patrishun Bunny now and 
finsih him off while there's still someting to finish. Next I get a loud 
cry for help from der Patrishun himself. Den Jason again, wunderin if we 
should help him instead.

I put my best brains on it, and den I fink about what to do about der
mess. So I wipes off der brains, and fink about Circle Cities instedd.
If we attacks CC, we probably gets one SC each, and Nef gets der
other 3. Dat make Nef stronger than us, and he able to finish Muntab
before we finish our other neighbours. Dis not good. I talk again
to Ogg and he agree, we better helpin CC defend and keep Nef from
gettin too big, and den we can stab CC atta time o our own choosin. I
can probably get Muntab to join der party, cos Nef bigger threat to him
dan CC.

Meanwhile, Ogg accidentally on purpose got his orders wrong and XXXX
didn't get Sdi. I could try to help Agatea from Ctk, but he don't
trust me, and J. Ogg don't reckon he can make der same mistake again
and get away wiv it. I make my own cunning plan to send messenger pigs
to everyone accidentally on purpose to see if it make XXXX do something
else, speshly as one of me fleets is still stuck in harbour.

At least the plan with Muntab in Genua is workin, although we got to
guess right to finish the job.

Winter 04.

Dis is prima stuff! Muntab gets his build; I doan no if der leeked
message worked, but XXXX didn't get Sdi again; Ogg got another build;
CC lost a SC, but gained two, so Nef is down by one; an even though dat 
fleet is still stuck in Ctk, I got into Ku.

Now, I can build two more fleets an finish off XXXX quickly, but dat
mean I very vulnerable to attack by Ogg. I fink he too busy finishing
Agatea and now fighting Nef as well, but I doan want to tempt him, and
I not hearing enough from Muntab either, so I fink a fleet anna army
is safer.
My yak ate dese pages!

Spring 07.

XXXX is done for. Although he still has a fleet left, dere is nuffing
he can do stop me takin Nafooi. I did agree wiv Ogg dat dat would be his
but he sayin I can have it as he cant get dere, or not soon. I tell
him I'll take it now but let him have it back when he ready, maybe even
convoy an army for him.

Also, Nef just about finished too. CC got back all his territory an more,
Muntab have some, and Ogg take the rest.

Fing is, Ogg bound to stab CC very soon. I doan fink he'll go for me yet
cos we good allies an I got just enough armies to make it difficult. I
been finkin about dis, an I fink maybe I have to attack him. It make me
sad, cos we been workin well together; but stabbin Genua and then XXXX
made me sad too. Oh well, der sooner I ruler of der disk, der sooner I
can stop bein sad.

Autumn 08.

Dat XXXX done for den. Who's next. I guess I already answered dat.

Yes, Ogg jus tole me he goin to stab CC, and we in a race to 21 SC's,
leavin each other alone. It my job to get Muntab, an maybe Bor off

Trubble is, he may meen it, an he may not. I doan no. Also, I got all
my fleets an armies up close to him, anna long way from Muntab. An
Muntab was my first ally an we also been workin well. Worse, every
time Ogg gets a build, he gets it on my border. If he makes a quick
kill an gets 3 SC's while I'm getting into position to attack Muntab,
who will have plenty of time to see it coming and get ready, he can
build 3 armies rite on my border before I can move back to defend.

No. I'll have to stab him. Anyway, he's not expecting it; there's
nothing he can do to stop me getting into Sdi and Lan if I do it
now; he's about to get himself a new enemy on his other border; and
I will never be in a better position to launch an unexpected attack.
So, stab it is, then.

Hmmm, not so fast. Der head Muntabian has gone on holiday an I doan
no his deputy. He could take dis opportunininty to change der deal
an attack me. I send him a welcome message wiv a carrot onna stick.
I tell him dat he'll have plenty of opportunininty to make ganes to
his Spinward, but also dat I got a load of fleets lookin for a new 
job so he better not get any silly ideas in my direction.

He say no problem, he see der threat, but doan overdo it cos he also
got one if needed. Fair enuff. Time to get dat dagger out.

Spring 09.

An spring I did. He wernt expectin dat. He stabbed CC right in der Ank,
but I got armies an fleets all over him. Der Patrishun been exchanging
more messenger pigs (nice to see Melinda back [1]) wiv me an we workin
on retakin Ank this year, plus I will get Sdi an hope to get Lan too.
If dat happen, Ogg up Poo Bayou wiv no canoo.

Muntab look like he keepin to der script which good news. No doubt der
embassy broomstickpark will be full soon, but I fink he not do anyfing
rash just yet. We discussin exchangin Mom and Gen cos it easier for us
both to defend against der other, an more difficult to launch a surprise
attack dat way. I cant do it right now, but should be ready next year.

He lso no dat I puttin 2 fleets toward him, but not too close cos I
don't want to start another war, an he seem to be acceptin dat.

[1] But nicer to see her front.

Autumn 09.

Dam, Ogg spoiled my cunning plan in Ool/Ctk/Eca, but I did get Sdi,
an Der Patrishun got himself into posishun to retake Ank, an it
doan look like dere is anything Ogg can do about dat.

Keeping CC in the attack may be difficult. He is about to get wiped
by Muntab, which is a kind of justice since it was the CC/Nef alliance
that nearlt wiped him early on. When Muntab starts leavin dirty
hoofprints all over der Partishun's shag pile, he may want to leave
Ogg alone. I just need him to carry through this attack so that Ogg
loses 3 SC's at once; den I can deal wiv him by myself.

I fink I ready to do dat exchange wiv Muntab too. I wanted to convoy
der amy in Pur over to Tit on Agatea. Dat would guarantee gettin
Hng next year, an maybe Bes as well, but I take a big risk of losin
Sdi if I do dat, an I can't allow Ogg to make any gains at all. So
dat army goin to Rrk where it can help defend against any funny business 
from Muntab.

Winter 09.

I feel cheetahed. Don't get me wrong, I don't want to make life
in the Hub more difficult dan normal, but I wanted to test my
tacticul brilliants against der Ogg clan an he go an forget to
tell his boys an girls wot to do. Dis not fair. 

We gained 2 more SC's (wot I fink we would have got neway) but der
choice wot 2 build is not so easy as I thought it would be. Armies,
right? I meen, we already got six fleets, do we look like a bunch
of sailors?

But getting dem dam fleets through der Celestial Starightm aten't so
easy, an I need dem widdershins PDQ. I need another army in Agatea,
too. So, I need to put sum of der fleets on convoy duty and dat jus make 
it harder to get dem into a fight. But I gots ter keep der momomontomo

So I building anther fleet wot I can tell "Full speed ahead, an dam der

Well, blimey, I is a lucky boy this Spring. It seem to me dat
Ogg and Muntab both make mistakes dat give me der chance I
need to finish dis off.

First, Ogg defended Bes wid his army in Wun, an not his fleet
in PEL. Dis mean Wun now empty, an dat mean I can take it wiv
only 1 army. I fort I would have to convoy over an army soon,
in fact I nearly did last turn. Now I don't need to which mean
I can take Bes and  Lla dis go, and know dat I can get Wun
next year. Dat take me up to 18, only 3 to go.

Then, Muntab didn't move A Bri-Api to guarantee he could take 
Mom. In fact, it look like he may have forgotten dat we doin
der exchange of Mom for Gen, cos he get forced out of Gen.
Neway, dis mean dat I can bounce his fleet in Mom, and keep
it for myself.

Now, I wasn't going to do dat, but dat leave me only needin
2 more SC's if I do it, an I got fleets dat will allow me to
take Kyt before he can stop me, which leave only 1 to get.
If I quick enough, I fink I can get Wyr or Gon, or maybe Bor.
If I liucky again, maybe some other bit of Muntab get left open.

So, it time to start der last big land grab.
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