Picnic Meet: Report

From: Supermouse <Supermouse@rat-cage.demon.co.uk>
Newsgroups: alt.fan.pratchett
Subject: [F] The Picnic Meet Report
Date: Sun, 20 Aug 2000 22:51:34 +0100
Message-ID: <mT57ZZAmLFo5IwwY@rat-cage.demon.co.uk>

Saturday 19th August 2000, twelve hundred hours.

Several suspects known to be associated with the 'mafpia' were seen to
assemble behind the Industrial Museum at Wollaton Park, Nottingham.
The ringleader of this illicit gathering was clearly the self-styled
'afper' known only as Supermouse. With this nefarious entity were
Charles 'The Loomer' Cooke a.k.a. 'ccookie', Naomi the Instigator and
Godfather 'The Slobbery Hellhound' Garner.  

Said suspects were seen to be carrying assorted and numerous bundles of
a suspicious nature, some of the contents of which were clearly organic
in origin. These bundles were spread around and the group seemed to
establish an ersatz HQ for their operations.

Further denizens of the shadowy underworld known only as 'a.f.p.' soon
began to filter slowly onto the scene of the investigation. DMark
'Stealth Agent' Dakto, Martyn 'Innocence'[1] Clapham, George 'Call Me
Fluffybunny And Die' Flabberghast, Andy 'The Jester' Brown and Jenny
'Bodybags' Pass comprised the whole of the rest of this group.

[1] Sweet and innocent, my arse. <grin>

Various weaponry and technical apparatus were then removed from unknown
hiding places about their persons, and the group compared and evaluated
their multi-tools, knives, handheld computerised devices and the ear-
spoon.

Charles 'The Loomer' Ccooke then conspired with Andy 'The Jester' Brown
and disappeared to a remote and well-hidden location within the confines
of the Industrial Museum, leaving the rest of the group to ritually
dismember and devour a chicken, several vegetables and some small and
perfectly innocent-looking pieces of cheese. 

Meanwhile, Godfather 'Slobbery Hellhound' Garner supervised events and
contributed quantities of a stringy, possibly narcotic substance, known
only by the slang term 'Slobber' to the site decor of grass, blankets
and deer droppings. This contribution was greeted by all with loud cries
and exclamations, presumably of joy and delight at his overwhelming and
ever-flowing generosity.

'The Loomer' and 'The Jester' emerged from the Industrial Museum
discussing the location and availability of large quantities of brass
for an unknown purpos. Almost immediately after the dastardly duo
disappeared into a prominent building on the hill which houses a
collection of dead animals, insects and plant materials. 

One phrase from the earnest discussion was caught on tape; 
<The Jester> 'Maybe we can get some ideas from the instruments'.

George 'Call Me FluffyBunny And Die' Flabberghast and the self-styled
'afper' known only as 'Supermouse' snuck off to find a hidden stash of
the highly addictive substance, nicotine.

Other mysterious missions were undertaken by sections of the group,
including an expedition to explore the surrounds of the lake and to
gauge its depth and suitability for the insertion of bodies.[2]

[2] Well, George's body. I think she misses swimming in the Swedish
lakes.

Despite the torrential downpours at 7am, 8am, 9am and 10am, the weather
at the park was fine and warm and pleasant, apart from the cold, dark
shadow of the mafpia who held a corner of the park within their icy
clutches on this sunny afternoon.

[editorial note - this section of the investigator's notebook was found
on the side of Wollaton Park lake and has been forwarded to the
appropriate organisations. Please regard this material as highly
sensitive. This posting will automatically delete itself after 72
hours.]
-- 
Supermouse, Naomi, Garner and C. Cooke.

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