Stand by Me

From: Corinne Pritchard
Newsgroups: alt.fan.pratchett
Subject: [I] Werewolves filking silently
Date: Sun, 6 Aug 2000 21:39:03 +0100

Dear all,

At CCDE, I noticed with sympathy the despair on many people's faces when it came to the obligatory singing of Stand By Me. It might have just been indigestion (those sausages...Dibbler's got a lot to answer for), but I don't think I imagined it, so here, not on request, and very badly written is one filk:

When the night is cold,
And the moon is full,
And the street lamps are the only light you see,

Yes you should be afraid,
oh you should be afraid,
just as long as you stand, stand by me.

So darling, darling
Stay away, oh please stay away, oh stay, stay away.

If the eyes that you look upon, should tremble and glow,
And incisors should sharpen into points
Then you'll run, you must run, without any rest
Stay away, stay away, from me.

So darling, darling
Stay away, oh please stay away, oh stay, stay away.

So darling, darling
Stay away, oh please stay away, oh stay, stay away.

Or you'll be in trouble.

Stay away, etc.

Then, a chance skip of Winamp(Tm) brought me to the following, equally bad
filk, that I felt I just had to share with you, because the idea is good, if
not the actual fruition of it.
To the Tune of Bob Dylan's "Just Like a Woman"

Nobody feels any pain
Well that's what they all say anyway
Everybody knows that elongated nose
And they all deplore him slaughtering his foes

Their red blood drips on fur

He bites just like a werewolf
Yes he does
He rends flesh just like a werewolf
Yes he does
He howls just like a werewolf
But he acts just like a little cub.

He's carried on like this for years
And I can't say that I've shed any tears
When the temper tantrums get to much to take
A stick and a word will get him jumping in the lake
With a "Fetch" a "Down boy" and a "Beg"

He whines just like a werewolf
Yes he does
He's plays dead, just like a werewolf
Oh yes he does
He shakes paws just like a werewolf,
And he fawns just like a little cub.

um...I'll go away again now then. Enjoy.

Love
Corinne

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